Gavin Bollard (Family Updates)

Introducing Fudge

2011-11-23T11:04:00.001+11:00

This year has not really been a good year to be a pet in the Bollard household. In March, we lost MiloBear the guinea pig to a stomach infection and in June we lost Panda, our dog of 11 years.

Recently, we also lost Fish B, our last goldfish. Despite being a super survivor, he didn't get a blog post. For some reason, it's harder to bond with a goldfish.

We promised the kids that we'd get a new dog as soon as we got back from our New Zealand holiday - and they held us to that promise. In fact, Joanne kept suggesting that she wanted one sooner but since she made up a rule that we wouldn't be getting another dog regardless, it was hard to take her seriously.

So, finally we went dog shopping and despite our best intentions to go to breeders or a shelter, we ended up scouring pet shops. Luckily we had Jose and Catherine along to help.

I'd wanted a pug for a long time ever since I saw one on Men in Black but everyone kept telling me that they have nose problems. We saw quite a few cross-bred pugs though and eventually settled on a Pug-Cross-Jack Russell. Catherine looked at him and said fudge (at least I hope that was the word she said) and we decided that it made a good name.

Joanne wasn't terribly keen on having a boy dog on account of her wanting to be able to rub the whole tummy without hitting anything icky but I think it's nice to have a boy dog again. Fudge's birth certificate says that he was born in July 2011 which makes him four months old now.

Chewie the Guinea Pig was a little afraid to begin with, he's now at least squeaking at Fudge. Chewie was used to Panda though and didn't judge her distance well enough to cater for fudge's tongue which "got her good" between the bars. It was a funny moment but I don't think Chewie is keen to repeat it.

Fudge has been great so far and he doesn't bark much - mainly at appliances such as irons and vacumn cleaners so far. He's getting better with his toilet training and we're finding less and less "fudge fudge" around the house. His teeth however don't seem to be getting any less sharp... my fingers are quite sore as I type this.

He has developed a terrible habit of running inside, grabbing underpants and running off with them - even going so far as to drag them out and under the table when we have visitors (a bit embarrassing really). His underpants fetish doesn't stop there though because you can't get changed in the same room as him because once your underpants reach knee height, he'll jump up and rip them off you.

I'm not sure how good a watchdog he's going to be but robbers beware - this dog is gonna take your pants.

He also takes running jumps at people wearing boxer shorts and we've had some close ones after hours.... but that's probably a bit TMI.

Our New Zealand 2011 Trip (Part 5 of 5)

2011-11-10T13:03:00.000+11:00

Ok, so we've arrived at the last part of my commentary on our New Zealand trip. Sorry for making you wait... It was all about getting photos off the camera which due to circumstances about to be explained, was harder than usual. This post is going to be a long one ... I probably should have done two posts but I just wanted to finish, so I've crammed it all in.

Directional Problems
It's always the case that towards the end of your holiday, you tend to get a little tired and your driving and navigation suffers. One of our last side-trips in the north of New Zealand was to some bird sanctuary (I think). Anyway, we got to within 3 km of the place and then discovered that someone had taken the bridge away. Sure, they'd built a replacement somewhere but it wasn't on our GPS. There was however a footbridge, so we decided to have a look on the other side of the river.

But first, we got to see a couple of ducks having piggyback rides which the kids thought was really funny. Did you know that ducks sink when they have another duck sitting on top of them? I didn't but I do now.

Anyway, we crossed the footbridge but our destination was nowhere in sight. There was however a recreation of an authentic maori village, so we decided to go there. By this time Joanne and I were both very tired and neither of us wanted to go with the kids. We were told that one of us had to though because they didn't want the kids near the exhibits by themselves. Since Joey had been doing all the driving, it was obviously my turn.

The village was quite nice and the kids had a play in the huts. I took a few photos and then we followed a bush trail down to a rocky causeway. I decided to take a few photos so I tried to move into a better position but slipped and landed on some oysters. It was messy and I trudged back to the visitor shop in a bit of a temper. Joanne saw me and came outside but I didn't want to be fussed over - I just wanted to get back to the car while I still had blood in me (it was pouring out rather quickly).

I made it back to the car and used my hankerchief to make a tourniquet and eventually stopped the blood flow. I got in the car and tried to summon the remaining shreds of my dignity by adopting silent mode when Joanne asked; "Was it a genuine fall or did you fall over because you were being a silly bugger?". I would have gotten away with it too were it not for the little pipsqueek voice in the back seat saying "No mum, he was being a silly bugger".

We didn't end up going to the bird place but on the way home we stopped at a winery because "I needed one" and after a couple, I felt much better. Reminder to self... take wine on camping trips and walks in future?

Oh... and our photos went downhill from here because I killed the camera (my second one this year - see: Cubs Canoeing trip). Luckily I had the boys cameras which are waterproof too but that didn't stop them from saying "Dad, don't kill my camera" every time I picked one up.

Family History - or not
The next place on our list was a small town (whose name escapes me) in which Joanne's Grandmother was born? lived? whatever... Personally, I found the most fascinating feature of the town to be the huge chocolate brown lake which seriously looked like something out of Willy Wonka.

In any case, we stopped there for lunch and had a little drive around talking about where her grandmother may have gone to church (not that Joey was entirely sure which religion she was at the time). Then, because of something about a school, we drove through a school and started taking photos... It's not good adult behavior and we're probably lucky to not be arrested but hey, it was for Joanne's grandmother... possibly.

Amusingly enough, we later found out that the town had very little to do with her grandmother.

Tane Mahuta and the Road to Auckland
We'd been told to visit the Tane Mahuta which is a massive (seriously massive) tree which grew from a seed within the lifetime of Jesus. It was a big tree.

We stopped at a very picturesque village near a giant sand dune. It had a statue of a boy riding a dolphin which the kids loved because you could "see his bum crack".

There was a plaque which celebrated the dolphin who came and stayed to play with the local kids and give them rides on his back. It didn't last more than a couple of years probably because some kid who was too big decided to have a ride. I think I remember reading something like that there but it might have been my imagination.

We all kept referring to the kid as "dolphin boy" (a Sealab 2021 refernce).

By this time we were tired and hoping to get to Auckland. The roads were poorly signposted but luckily we had the GPS. At one point, the GPS directed us off the main road and like good travellers we complied. It did indeed pick the shortest route but unfortunately it was an unsealed dirt and gravel road which went on for miles and miles. All of the animals along the way stopped and stared at us (like they hadn't seen a car before) and at one point we got stuck behind a group randy turkeys and had to wait for them to finish their business before we could move on.

Things were getting quite scary when we were still on the same road after about an hour but when we saw our first house (a rusty tin shed affair) I wouldn't let Joanne stop. It was just a bit too "Texas Chainsaw Massacre meets Deliverance" for us to take the risk. Finally though, we got back on the main road and eventually got to Auckland.

Auckland
It was great to catch up with Joanne's Auntie Louise and family again and we had a great time in Auckland. On our first day, we went to Auckland Museum with some great cryptic instructions from Ashley to "meet at the front door which is really at the back". It didn't help that the museum staff didn't have any idea which was the front or back doors either and with a 50% chance, you KNOW we were going to go to the wrong doors.

We eventually all found each other though and were joined by Joanne's Auntie Robyn too.

We had a great time at the Museum and the boys got to meet Krystal and Shayley, their 2nd cousins. The best bit was the volcano house where they simulate a volcano and shake the room. The next day, we had a family gathering at Auntie Louise's house and it was great to see everyone together. What an amazing and friendly group of people! We also went out to dinner at Valentines which puts the Australian version to shame and in a very funny moment, Louise gave me a stuffed Kia with a Jenny nametag. Thank you!

On our final full day in New Zealand, we went to Auckland Zoo. It rained... seriously.... poured. We still got to see the animals but we got saturated too. A big big thank you to Auntie Louise who brought raincoats because otherwise things would have been even wetter. The zoo was still a lot of fun and the boys particularly liked the monkeys who were extremely loud.

Departures
After that, it was time to pack and go home. It was a tearful farewell because we'd been looking at photos only the day before. I remembered from our last visit that Louise's son Grant, who was now almost 21 was the same age as Kaelan last time we were there. The only other photo we found of him with Joanne was her holding him as a baby. It's terrible to see how quickly time passes when you're not paying attention. We resolved to get back over there sooner next time.

The flight home was uneventful though bumpy and we got to Sydney quite late (after 9pm). It was dark and the kids were tired. Tristan burst into tears because he realized that we wouldn't seen Auntie Louise for a long time. We caught a cab out to Catherine's place and then drove home. It's good to be away but it's great to come back home too.

Our New Zealand 2011 Trip (Part 4 of Several Parts)

2011-11-08T11:23:00.002+11:00

I'm sure you think I've forgotten about this but I haven't... nearly perhaps. It's been so hectic since we got back that it's hard to keep up with blog posting.

When we last left our story, we were at Whangarei which is towards the north of New Zealand. We checked into another great motel run by some nice people. They had Wi-fi but it didn't reach to our room. Of course, being an IT guy, I quickly worked out that it did in fact work provided that you put the laptop within a particular 200cm square, faced it the right way and didn't walk through the invisible cable.

Of course, the words "invisible cable" tripped off all kinds of reactions in the boys and they kept trying to find it, which resulted in the laptop constantly falling off the wi-fi... but we're not here to talk about wi-fi are we.

So, we went out for dinner to a Chinese smorgasboard which the kids enjoyed. In particular, they liked getting the jelly cubes and making mountains. We also discovered that although they're quite spongy, they don't actually bounce when dropped on the floor.

The next morning, we had our first rainy day in NZ, so we went to the clock factory. It was cool and the kids loved the clocks. The museum wasn't particularly busy and so the museum curator decided to take us on a tour.

She had this amazing German accent vich ze kids an I ver cofying for ze vest of ze day. It might have been offensive... but we weren't trying to offend, it just was fun to talk that way. The other funny thing was that she had a weird name like fluffy or softie which didn't go with the accent too well. Anyway, while she was talking, the clocks kept going off and every now and then, often just after she said something that was a little too weird we'd all hear; "cuckoo! cuckoo!" and we'd have a lot of trouble not laughing. She was a great guide though and a good sport and she made an otherwise "okay" museum into something really special.

In the afternoon, we visited Joanne's uncle Mark. It was the first time I'd met him, though I feel like I've known the family for a while through facebook. It was so nice to meet the family and our kids really enjoyed having a chance to play with some other kids. I can imagine the conversations in 20 years time. "Hi, remember me? We came to your grandparents house and you stripped off and jumped in the mud in the rain".

That's how memories are made.

The next day, we headed up to the bay of islands where we stayed for a few days. It was a very picturesque place but still too cold to swim. We had a look at the NZ treaty grounds which attempts to present a "nice view" of the treaty even though the details make it look far from civil. On Kaelan's 11th birthday, we had dinner in a "Swiss restaurant" which didn't serve fondue as a main or entree because "the right kind of cheese is too expensive in New Zealand"... wow... and the place is full of cows....

In any case, they at least had chocolate fondue for dessert and the kids got a kick out of that.

On our second day, we went to a thermal mineral pool because Joanne was desperate to try one. It was a bit of a dive (but not a "swimming dive"). In fact, the kids and I took quite a bit of coaxing to get into the water - and it took several washes to get the smell out of our swimming costumes. Nevertheless, it was a great experience and the hottest pool was quite nice provided your feet didn't touch the ground. I think that if we visited a cannibal country, maybe I'd enjoy being made into soup - or perhaps not.

The other thing that was near the thermal pools was waterfall, so we did the dangerous thing and went and sat on it for a photo. Luckily we didn't fall in... the fall came later... next post.

We had dinner that night at Shippys which was an old boat converted to a restaurant. They had easily the best fish and chips of our whole New Zealand trip.

Next time; We're nearing the end... I promise...

Our New Zealand 2011 Trip (Part 3 of several parts)

2011-10-05T11:13:00.000+11:00

Yes, I know I'm taking forever to update this... sorry

If you missed Part 1, it was here
If you missed Part 2, it was here

Part 3 starts off in Rotorua where we all woke up with sore backs and slithered out of our cramped surroundings. Joanne decided that she couldn't take two more nights in the cabin and went to talk to the owners. They were very nice about it all and arranged for us to transfer to another park.

The second place in Rotorua was great. It was big, full of light, comfortable and had a lot of attractions within itself. It was also on a "hot" beach and the owners said that they had a shovel we could borrow if we wanted to go there.

Not understanding them, Joanne said no. After all, we figured that our kids could build sandcastles with their hands.

So anyway, this new place had thermals all over it. You'd just be walking alongside a little creek and hear bubbling. There was also a playground with a pool of boiling mud right next to the slide.

Did I mention that New Zealanders don't really worry too much about safety?

We took a walk down to the beach but to our disappointment, the water wasn't actually warm. We did notice however that the ground was a bit warm and that the deeper you dug, the warmer it got. There were also some massive holes in the sand and I wondered at the time why someone would dig such a big hole but not build a sandcastle - it turns out that people dig holes and sit in them for warmth.

We took the boys to a park in Rotorua and it had lots of great thermals in the middle of it. We'd been planning on going to a proper (commerical) thermal park but the boys were turning feral and didn't show enough interest to justify the cost. Also; once they spotted a big playground in the park, they decided that they just wanted to play.

That night, we had dinner and then went out to the markets. Joanne loves markets and she was expecting to see a lot of "crafty" things. Unfortunately, it turned out to be a food market - and we'd just had a big meal so we weren't hungry.

We wandered around until we found a carnival. Most of it was closed but they had a couple of rides open. The kids went on a "crazy castle" but the highlight of the night was watching a big thrill ride - specifically, watching a young Indian guy wearing a turban. The ride was going quite fast (3Gs apparently) and was spinning upside down. He was panicking a bit because he wanted to hold onto the ride but kept having to grab his turban. I'm sure it was cruel but every time his carriage spun down to the ground level, there was a whole crowd of people laughing their heads off.

Amusingly, since we've been back in Australia, Kaelan has built a working lego model of the ride and has stormtroopers as passengers. I'm very tempted to try to find a Lego Indiana Jones (Temple of Doom) person with a turban for him to play with.

The next morning, we went to Rainbow Springs, which is a kind of Zoo. There, we met a wide variety of animals including "Sally the shoe-eating Swan", who not only liked eating Tristan's shoes but also liked my hand. I offered it a handful of bird/fish food but it preferred fingers.

Also in the Zoo, there was a Kea which is the smartest type of parrot. In particular, there was one called Jenny who was in a cage by herself. Every time we tried to walk away, she cried out "Gav!!!" and I had to keep going back. It was very hard to leave her.

Not to be outdone by my antics with Sally and Jenny, Joanne decided to pick up a chicken. It wandered over while we were feeding the ducks and well, it just looked like it needed a cuddle. Tristan thought it was pretty funny.

There were a few other interesting animals in the Zoo and the fish were great but the Kiwi's looked a bit loony. They were just pacing around and around on the same patches of dirt.

I told the people at the front desk that their anamatronic Kiwi's just weren't convincing enough and they told us that our tickets were valid for a night visit and that we should come back later.

After another "busy" afternoon which mostly involved washing while the kids played on the swings, we had dinner at the Skyline resturaunt which is at the top of a mountain accessible via a gondola. The kids enjoyed the ride up and down though we had to them to stop rocking it. They also loved choosing their own food and had several large desserts each.

I had a "cupcake" accident there - I was trying to eat a cupcake sized Lemon Meringue Pie when the top started to fall off. I took emergency evasive action and tried to shove the whole thing in my mouth but unfortunately I missed (I must have an eating disorder). The cupcake impacted on my chin and Joanne dissolved into a fit of giggles.

After dinner, we went back town to Rainbow Springs and had another look at the Kiwis. Kaelan asked if he could pick one up but although it was physically possible, we said no. They were certainly more natural looking at night. We also paid Jenny another visit.

Next Up: Waitaki (or something spelt a bit like that).

Our New Zealand 2011 Trip (Part 2 of several parts)

2011-09-23T11:03:00.002+10:00

If you missed Part 1, it's here.

Part two starts with a visit to Joanne's uncle Chris, the oldest of her father's siblings, who has recently had an operation and whom we were very worried about.

Chris has two dogs who live in a car. The kids thought it was a great hoot but the dogs are only in there at night - so no heat issues, not like Australia. The windows were rolled down a bit and I couldn't resist the urge to stick my finger in there. One of the dogs barked loudly and looked like it was about to bite me but it didn't. It was just being playful and my finger almost went up its nose instead. Kaelan saw it though and instantly developed a fear of the dogs.

We spent a while with Chris and Louise and he let the dogs run about. Tristan was fine but it took a little while for Kaelan to settle down. In the end though, he was laughing and running around with the dogs and didn't want to go.

When we left Chris' place, we headed down to Waitomo for the glow worm caves. We had a quick lunch stop in a rest area along the way. We were all glad to have an opportunity to stretch our legs but the boys (as usual) took things one step further. Spying a nearby farm, they jumped the fence and started chasing the sheep - it looked funny but we were worried about angry famers. In the end however, it was an angry sheep who tried to headbutt Kaelan. The boys developed a healthy respect for sheep after that.

The glow worm tour was better than usual and the tour guide was very friendly. The steps were a little slippery and it was dark but there's always one nut in each group (not me this time). I turned around to warn a lady behind about a sharp drop, since she was carrying a baby but my warning came too late. She made a doozy step but didn't fall.

Unfortunately, what I didn't realise was that she was taking advantage of the dark and her dodgy step caused her boob to pop out (with a loud "pop" sound) from the baby's mouth and it almost hit me in the face. To make matters worse, the baby deprived of it's morning tea, let out a loud wail which drew everyones attention. I got away from her quick-smart. Seriously... a slippery wet and dark cave would probably be on my list of the worst places to breastfeed - assuming that I even had the attributes to do so.

The cave tour was pretty full and their boat filled up leaving us to wait in the dark for about 10 minutes. This was great because we got a good long look at the glow worms. Of course, the kids were mucking up near the lake and I said to Kaelan, "hey, don't muck around because it's dark and if you fall into the water, nobody will ever find you". He had ten minutes to mull over that statement in the dark and then he suddenly announced that he wasn't going on the boat. Luckily a second tour guide offered to take him back via the land route.

The rest of our day was spent travelling to our next hotel which has a snowy mountain out our window. Along the way we saw cows, sheep, horses, goats, ostriches (and lots of babies - lambs, calves etc). We saw a hedgehog too but unfortunately it was roadkill (so not as cute as we'd like).

The boys were really excited to see that the mountains had snow on them - they've never seen real snow - and the view just kept getting better and better. The view from our hotel was awesome. Of course, we arrived too late to do anything that night, so we went out for dinner instead.

Along the way, Joanne accidentally ran over an animal. We don't know what it was but she thinks it was a possum. We passed a warning sign about kiwi's a few seconds later so the boys and I ribbed her about coming to New Zealand and killing their fauna. "We came, We saw, We squished!". Turns out that NZ has a possum problem (more possums than sheep - and more sheep than people) so apparently we did them a favour.

The next morning, we went into town to get some gloves and found some adult gloves in the NZ equivent of wollies for $18. There were no kids gloves so we went to a ski shop which had a "big sale" on but even so their cheapest pairs were $60 and $100. We ended up getting adult gloves for the kids too - at least they can grow into them. The boys looked like cartoon characters with giant hands.

Next, we drove up the mountain and went to where all the skiers were. The boys threw snowballs but it took a few goes and injuries and a lot of crying before Kaelan understood that you have to make your own - not just throw any old chunk of ice at people.

We got tickets to the chairlift and I know Kaelan was about to wimp out but I kept him talking so much that he didn't realize where we were until the seat was almost under him. Of course I was so busy with Kaelan that I almost forgot about Tristan. He nearly didn't make the seat but I hoisted him up by the shirt. Jo said that the chairlift operator looked panicked for a while.

Getting off the chairlift was fun because it was going fast and I didn't realise that we had to get off until it was almost too late. It was even worse for Joanne who actually did miss her bit and had to jump off and run at us. At first I held my arms out and said "don't worry, I'll catch you" but then I thought better of it and stepped aside... ...luckily she didn't fall over or I'd have been in real trouble.

Tristan was very funny in the snow and he kept dropping to do snow angels.

The snow at the top of the mountain was much better and softer than the snow at the bottom and we had some much better snowball fights. We had a hot chocolate up there too before going back down.

We weren't sure if we were going to make it back into town because we'd forgotten to fill up on Petrol. My bad... she asked me to remind her and I forgot. Luckily Joanne knew the quickest way back into town but I got confused and pointed saying "that way"... It was the wrong way. We squandered some of our precious petrol turning around but Joanne was a good sport about it and was laughing "because", she said, "If we run out of petrol, it just means that YOU will have to walk further". Luckily we made it to a petrol station.

Our next destination, Rotorua was only 2.5 hours away but it took most of the day because we made a few photo and tourist stops.

The kids were fighting in the car a lot so I put a movie on the laptop and we got about 2 hours quiet. We stopped at the hulka falls and the kids were impressed but being away from their movie, they quickly got into a fight.

We also visited a honey place but there were no taste testers and everything was too expensive with some normal-sized jars of honey costing $100. On the plus side, Kaelan did get to play with their sheep.

We got to Rotorua at about 6pm and moved into our cabin but it was very uncomfortable and the bed was too squishy. The place is supposed to have thermal pools but they're closed for repair. How do you repair a thermal pool? That had me worried.

Stay tuned for our Rotorua adventures.

Our New Zealand 2011 Trip (Part 1 of several parts)

2011-09-22T15:35:00.006+10:00

In case you blinked, we spent two fun-filled weeks in New Zealand and only just got back. Our visit coincided with the World Cup rugby which would have been great had we given a "rat's arse" about football - but we don't. Here's our story (it's going to take a few posts to get it all out).

We woke up early enough and got to the airport on time but getting through customs was difficult because I got "randomly selected for special treatment and got patted down all over - and I mean ALL over, by an extra friendly airport dude. The flight was good but we only had middle seats - so no window. The kids mostly behaved on the flight too because there were movies and games built into the seats. Tristan managed to crash his player a couple of times but that's only to be expected.

Getting out at NZ was fun. We were passing through their "chatty" security people when Kaelan got bored and raided our hand luggage for his camera and started taking photos. The officials had to take the camera and go through all the photos (and delete the airport ones) before we could proceed. Even better, Tristan kept reminding Kaelan loudly and sternly throughout the remainder of the trip... "Remember Kaelan... no photos!".

We waited for ages for our bags and I think Joey was panicking a bit until she noticed some lonely bags circling on a carousel at the far end of the airport.

Next up we got stopped at customs because the security guys had been so distracted that they filled the forms out wrong. We had to wait until someone came and sorted it out. Then, it was one more security scan, the highlight of which was the fact that Tristan got to see an X-ray of his bear. It definitely needs more stuffing.

Joanne's auntie Louise met us at the airport, which was lucky because it was gridlocked due to the arrival of the Tongan football supporters and the hire car place couldn't get a vehicle to us. We got the GPS (satnav) out and it was working well but the traffic here was so slow that it asked us if we wanted to switch to pedestrian mode.

Although we arrived at 2:30pm, it took us until 5pm to get out of the airport car park and Joanne managed to run a red light too - but that was ok because the New Zealanders have "one green per car lights" which are a silly idea anyway.

We finally got to Joanne's uncle Chris' place at about 7.30 but couldn't stay more than a few minutes because we'd already arranged to have dinner with Sarah Jane and Jasmine whom we only knew from Facebook. By the time we got to her place, got the formalities done (it's so weird meeting digital people in real life) and found a place to eat it was about 9pm (NZ time).

The place was called Ghengy's and you choose your own meats, toppings (mushrooms, shoots, tomatoes etc) and sauces and oils then give it to the cook to fry-up. Our first attempts were pretty meagre but we got better. I think Kaelan sneezed on the oils and sauces though - so cue the first of many discussions about hygiene in smorgasbord places (we don't go to them in Australia). Dessert was great. They make pancakes and you get to decorate them with your choice of toppings. The kids (and I) loved it.

By the end of the night, Kaelan was very tired and actually laid down on the floor in the resturant. Luckily we were the only ones there. Tristan was still perky though and was running around with bear stuffed inside his jumper.

Sadly we forgot to get a photo of us and the boys with Sarah Jane and Jasmine (for comparison when a 20+ year old Jasmine visits us in Australia one day?). Oh we'll. I guess we'll have to make another trip sooner than expected.

I don't remember much of the hotel because we all collapsed and slept pretty soon after arriving and we had to be back at Chris' place by 9.30am (7.30 our time). It was going to be a bleary-eyed morning.

We also discovered in the morning that Kaelan had left his car door open but luckily, all was ok.

Poor Kaelan (he got picked on a lot in this post.... I'm sure we'll even things up a bit in later posts)

Stay tuned for part 2.

Tristan and Computers - A History

2011-07-28T14:43:00.001+10:00

I've talked about Tristan's computer prowess on several occasions but I don't think I've ever put it all down in one document. I figured that now was a good time.

Tristan is almost eight now but our story starts back when he was about six and a half...

Email Alert

I think I first realised that Tristan had an affinity with computers when he sent me an Email one morning when I was on the bus on the way to work. Shortly afterwards, he started popping up google chat windows when I was at work asking for the email addresses of his grandparents.

These days he emails me youtube videos, cheat codes for games and all sorts of stuff. Not bad for someone who is only just starting to spell.

Tech Support

Tristan is always wandering up to me and asking me what I'm doing or how something works. If he does that, I'll explain it but I'm not going out of my way to teach him. Just giving him answers. He's just very good at picking things up. Perhaps, too good.

Imagine my surprise when I get home to find that he's taught Joanne how to fix a computer problem. I'm even more surprised when she tells me that the computer had been "freezing" for her for about a year (and she'd been turning it off and on again).

She didn't think to mention the problem to me but during one of the issues she was obviously a little vocal about it and Tristan came over and fixed it ... instantly.

The Password

The next inkling that we had a special IT boy on our hands came when Tristan was being a bit naughty and spending time on his computer instead of getting changed for school. He was told that if he did it again, he'd have it taken away from him.

Of course, he did it again, so we changed his password.

Now with most people, that would be the end of it but Tristan had a "hand-me-down" computer with some experimental stuff on it. He decided to activate the linux partition, signed on, figured out which was the browser and hopped straight back on the web to play his games.

Angry Birds

Tristan saw me playing angry birds on my computer downstairs and decided that he wanted a copy on his. I explained that he couldn't have it because these things have security keys.

It didn't faze him.

A couple of hours later, he came down and told me that he was having a lot of fun with Angry Birds. He'd done an internet search and discovered that you could get it for free as a Google Chrome addon.

The Internet

Fast forward another month or so and Tristan's PC was having internet issues. He was frustrated and asked me to help him fix it. He was asking questions about TCP/IP and wireless networking which I answered (as you do).

In the end, I got called away and said that I'd have to sort it out later. When I asked him about it later, he said, "don't worry... I've fixed it now". So I let it go.

A couple of weeks later when I went up to his room, I discovered that he'd fixed it by hooking into the neighbours wireless network. I asked him why he'd chosen theirs when we had a perfectly good one of our own... his reply... "theirs is faster".

The Wedding

Following the wirless network fiasco, I moved him back to our internet connection. He asked me about something and I said, "I already told you, didn't you read your email?". I opened up his email to show him my previous answer and found this...

"Confirmation of your booking"

I figured I'd better read it. The booking was for him and a girl called Nicole to be married somewhere in Seattle. He'd booked a hotel, meals and a cars.

I panicked asking him about the credit card that he used for the numbers but he said that he just kept making them up until it accepted them.

Oops...

His "wedding" was supposed to be last weekend and we kept half-expecting an angry call from this "Nicole" person saying that he'd left her at the altar. Luckily it didn't happen.

Other Funny eMails

After last week's wedding fiasco, we decided to check Tristan's email to see if the wedding company was complaining about him not showing up. Fortunately, they hadn't.

We did find some very cute emails though;

Club Penguin

When his free club penguin game time expired, he sent club penguin an email which read;

"I lik club pengin. can I ha some mor time pls?"

They didn't respond, so after about a week, he sent them a bunch of links to other online game sites which were "better than theirs anyway".

Fat Chicken

This was bizarre. He sent an email labelled "fat chicken" to his brother but when we opened it up, the picture wasn't a chicken at all.

I think it was a hamster.

Needless to say, he's already earned his Information Technology Level 1 badge after only about three weeks in cubs.

A Special Birthday for Grandma...

2011-07-25T13:16:00.002+10:00

Yesterday we went out for "Grandma's Birthday". We had a great family meal at Asquith Bowling Club and nobody managed to tip any glasses over or anything (though there were a few close calls with the spinning servy thing in the middle the table).

After lunch, we went back to the "Mont's" house and had birthday cake and had a good old yarn and managed to take some family photographs (without people mucking up too much).

All in all, it was a very enjoyable day.

Tristan's Panda Poem

2011-06-29T07:59:00.002+10:00

Tristan (8) had some homework for today. He was required to write a poem to read to his class.

Normally this is quite a daunting task for him but I sat with him and to my astonishment, he wrote his poem in almost a single go. It was so good that I couldn't bring myself to change any words - not even the rude one.

I sent a note to school to explain this with my translation (because he had a lot of trouble reading his own writing back). I hope he gets the respect he deserves for the poem and doesn't get into trouble. (It wouldn't be the first time one of my kids has gotten into trouble about rude poetry and we have a family history of it).

Anyway, without further ado, here is Tristan's Poem;

P ...... Panda, Cuddly

A ...... Panda, Licks

N ...... Panda, Roots

D ...... Panda, Barks

A ...... Panda, Runs

Panda died...

I miss Panda.

Panda's last photo - taken about a week before she died.

In Memorium: Panda 1999-2011

2011-06-23T12:49:00.005+10:00

It's been a tough week for us all this week because Panda died last Saturday. She'd been having a lot of trouble breathing and after a few expensive vet visits in a row, the vet finally told us that she wasn't going to get better. We asked the children if they wanted to wait outside but they wanted to stay. We all held our hands on Panda as her final injection did its work and she passed on. She went quietly and peacefully and surrounded by family.

I can remember when we first got Panda, I wasn't too keen on getting a dog and particularly not a small one. I'd grown up with a border collie and somehow a small dog just seemed wrong. It didn't help that Panda being a Shitzu-Maltese was close to the very bottom of the intelligence scale (compared to Collies at the top). I think that some part of me just didn't want to get attached to a dog knowing that this day would surely come around again. Dogs have such tragically short lives.

In our first year, we quickly established Panda as an "outside dog". Sure, we let her in to sit with us at night but as soon as it was bedtime, we pushed her outside to her kennel regardless of the cold. Of course, we tried to make things comfortable for her but that first year was "the war of the mat" and no matter how many times we put her mat into her kennel, she'd drag it out again. Eventually though, we hit upon the idea to line it with velcro and all of our problems ceased.

That first year was great fun and Panda was "top dog".

Then suddenly, there was a baby in the house and poor panda found herself increasingly put outside. She got on well with the baby though and even though she got her fur grabbed and pulled, she never ever reacted badly. She even let the baby share some of her toys (I can still remember Joanne freaking out when she found Panda's saliva-drenched rabbit in Kaelan's bassinet).

Panda's diet changed too in those years as she got served up more and more baby food. I'm sure that there was at least a couple of years there where she didn't have to chew at all.

Then a second baby came along but this time it was different. The second baby liked to trap and squeeze Panda. Panda put up with farts being laid on her head, being dressed in all manner of clothes, being hidden in blankets, being dragged around backwards and even being sat on. She never fought back and rarely ever complained. She was an excellent dog.

Sometimes she'd totally disgust us; like the day she ate one of Tristan's poos straight from his discarded nappy and then proceeeded to lick people to get that "nutty" taste off her tongue.

Sometimes she'd have us in hysterics, like when she buried sandwiches and got a filthy nose, did "wheelchairs", barked at lemons or ran away from motorised fluffy toys. There was also the times when she'd get her paw stuck in her fur and limp around the house giving us the "panda-scout" salute until we rescued her.

Panda always wanted to be with us no matter where we were. I can remember setting up kiddie pools in the back yard and having her jump in and splash about with muddy feet before I had a chance to put the baby in it. Then there was the time when we set up a big pool and she jumped out of nowhere, over the sides and into the pool. She got a big shock because I don't think that she expected that she wouldn't be able to touch the bottom.

Then there was the day we took her to my parents place and went canoeing. Panda wasn't really a "water dog" but she took us all by surprise by paddling out the canoe and trying to climb in.

When we moved house panda settled in very nicely and made friends with our neighbours. We were on a busy street but she never wandered across it. We had a few close calls though when she was picked up by strangers because with her fur shaved, she reverted to looking like a puppy.

Panda's fur was always an issue and I had to do haircuts in places I never thought I'd have to go (yuck). One time we let her go for a while before taking her to the dog grooming clinic and the owner called us out, "do you know when your dog last had a shit!" - our groomer was always so classy.

Panda also had a very close call while were were waiting for our house to be built. Tristan put an elastic band around her body and because of her thick fur we didn't find it until it was starting to cut her in half. She never whimpered but being so brave, we often didn't know if she was feeling pain. She became a super-protected dog after that incident and when we moved into our new house, she spent most of her remaining years indoors with her family.

Panda got smarter too with age. We discovered that you can actually teach an old dog new tricks and she'd do anything for a snack. Of course, she was very particular about brands and would suddenly change brands without warning and we'd have to try to figure out what the new flavour of the month was. Of course, Chocolate was always a flavour of the month and though we tried not to give her much (for health reasons) she'd pull those "puppy dog eyes" out on us and we'd give in. She also liked Yoghurt but only the cheaper brands.

Panda got on well with everyone and all our, our birds, cat and milo-bear the guinea-pig (all of whom she outlasted). She got on well with Chewie (our other guinea pig - who misses her too) and with visiting dogs such as chops. She taught our kids most of what they know of sex education because even though she was female, she had that urge to "dominate" everyone and every thing, she was still trying to "dominate" the much bigger Chops only a day or two before she died.

Most of all, Panda was a big part of our family, and was always included in our funny family videos and pictures. She was our shadow. Always by our side at home and always in our thoughts on holidays. She was the first thing we saw when we came home from anywhere. If she was outside, she'd be at the front door - having escaped somehow - and if she was inside, she'd be looking through one of the glass panels in the door.

They say that no dog will ever equal your first. I used to believe that but not anymore.

Goodbye Panda, We'll miss you.

April to May 2011 Update

2011-05-11T12:44:00.005+10:00

Finished at Last! (Now I can stop posting boring house pictures)

Plugging the Gaps

Hot on the heels of the driveway and grass, we got a bit of work done on the fence. Joanne's brother Paul did a splendid job of sealing up the corner and now at last, I think that Panda has to stay around the back. Of course, the fence wasn't extended without some fireworks from the neighbours next door. They want a new fence and they're going to make our lives miserable until they get it.

It didn't help that when the neighbour was trying to ask me about the work (which I didn't have time to talk about because I was already late getting the kids ready for tutoring), Paul's dog, "Chops" wandered over into his yard and took a dump - practically on our neighbour's feet. After hastily cleaning it off his shiny grass, I left Joanne to face the music - and what a crap tune it played.

Normally I'd have a kiddie quote but today I have a "Neighbour Quote".

Friendly Stuck-up Neighbour: "You're the worst neighbours we've ever had!"

Joanne: [collapses into hysterical laughter]

Holidays

Joanne arranged a trip to Adelaide to see her best friend and it accidentally (apparently) coincided with the school holidays. This meant that I got to stay home and look after the boys. They really missed her - so we had to distract them by filling up every inch of their spare time with things like trips to the Powerhouse Museum and to my parents house. We also all stayed up late every night and watched movies - and we went to see Diary of a Wimpy Kid 2.

The powerhouse museum was a lot of fun and the kids enjoyed running around pressing every button that they could find. There was an artificial intelligence robot face on display and all the adults around it were asking things like "what is your name?", then the kids asked if it could smell farts (that's my boys).

It wasn't saying much so when it got to my turn I said, "Open the Pod by doors, Hal" and it responded "My mission is too important for you to jeopardize it. I know that you and Frank were planning to disconnect me, and I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen. Although you took very thorough precautions in the pod against my hearing you, I could see your lips move. This conversation can serve no purpose anymore. Goodbye." It was very funny but even funnier were the incredulous stares of the non-2001 people.

The powerhouse also had a simulated darkroom and photography studio which the kids had a great time playing in.

There's a really nice park that has just been "refurbished" near my parents house. When we were up visiting my parents, we took the boys there and Kaelan said, "This is better than the Easter show". Great.... It's a lot cheaper too.

Kaelan rides the flying fox.

The park had a little kids area, a big kids area and a teen (skateboarders) area. It also had an exercise track around the outside for adults with exercisers based on body weight. Cool. An excellent free gym.

Tristan builds up his muscles

The obligatory family shot at the park.

Easter

We had a good easter and Joanne's parents stayed the night to watch the Easter Egg hunt in the morning. The kids ate chocolate for breakfast two days in a row - and then it was all gone. At least it didn't drag on for weeks.

I can see a chicken coming out, there....

Shed World

Now that we'd gotten the driveway sorted, and we had some time over Easter, we turned our attention to the garage. We did a massive clean up which took days and resulted in a lot of pain and a broken easter egg. Kaelan's easter egg fell out of the freezer when we moved it - and then Panda ate it. Who says chocolate isn't good for dogs?

We finally got to the point where we can get one car in our two-car garage. We could almost get two cars in there but we have four bikes to store.

So, it was off to shed world to see if we could find a suitable shed for the bikes.

We were in a bit of a funny mood when we got there - probably something to do with chocolate (since it was near Easter). Anyway, I asked the guy if he often got calls from people trying to get him to say "shed" twenty times. He laughed and then admitted that he had no idea what I was talking about...

If you don't know, you need to listen to the clip below;

After looking at sheds for a while and starting to relax, I decided to ask him a big question. "I suppose you've got all kinds of new seals on your designs these days to keep spiders out", I said. "What?", said the salesman, clearly taken aback.

I decided to simplify it. "Do you have any spider-proof sheds?". I'm not sure how he managed to keep straight faced but he replied, "I've been asked many questions at shed world, but I've never been asked that one". He went on to tell me that he couldn't offer any guarantees that spiders wouldn't get in. I tired to say that I didn't expect a guarantee but that if he had some technology that would impede their progress it would be good". Then I stopped. I was feeling like I was in a Monty Python sketch - and Joanne was giving me some strange looks.

The Rest of the Holidays

The kids spent most of the rest of their holidays trying to conquer Lego Star Wars III: The Clone Wars. I managed to get a photo of them in action (difficult when they don't want to look away).

Well, that's about it. There's mother's day of course where Joanne got a GPS, a keyring light, painted glasses and others stuff - and Joanne's parents stayed over again. We had a BBQ and a great day.

February to March 2011 Update

2011-04-06T09:10:00.004+10:00

Driveway!!!

The big news is that we now have a driveway! I've been meaning to write this news for ages but was waiting for a photo I never got time to take. Instead, I'm posting a photo of the incomplete front yard (just imagine there's grass there - because there is now). Of course, some of the grass is dead now because we got a whole bunch of super hot and super dry days immediately after it was laid.

Sadly, the week that we got our driveway finished was the same week that the council decided to resurface all of the roads in the area so we couldn't use it for fear of putting black marks on it. As it is, there might be one on there.

If you're super-observant, you'll notice that we've got gates at last too but sadly they're not enough to keep Panda around the back. I think she has that cockroach-style ability to flatten herself and get under anything.

We still haven't put either car in the garage though - there's no room.

Camping

In March, we had the first family camp for scouts where it didn't rain. The kids had a great time and went sailing and rafting (the cubs built the raft by themselves). While on camp, Kaelan led his grey wolf bushwalk from Nords Wharf to Catherine Hill Bay.

MiloBear

Sadly Milobear lost her battle with a stomache infection (from an unknown cut) last weekend. We weren't really sure that she was sick until she refused to eat some fresh grass (it's never happened before). The very next morning Joey took her to the vet who injected her with some anti-biotics. We had high hopes but she died only a few hours later.

Both of the kids were upset and Tristan was particulary sad. We had a short ceremony in the backyard but the shoebox proved to big for the hole and we had to bury Milobear with just the lid.

Near the end of the ceremony, Kaelan said "we'll have to remember that she's here so we can see her again" and Joanne replied, "Yes, if you remember her, you can see her in your head". I had to step in and correct her; "No... the kids are saying that they'll remember where we buried her so they can dig her up later". We established that as a big no-no.

Chewie hasn't been too perky lately and is spending a lot more time under the paper - obviously missing her friend. Even Panda isn't her normal self at the moment.

Tidying Up

Last weekend, following several weeks of constant refusals by the kids to tidy up their rooms and the toy room, we've removed ALL toys from their rooms and the toy room. Now they're tidy.

Of course, this means that we have all these boxes downstairs with nowhere to go and no room in the garage.

Kaelan has improved amazingly since this change and is getting changed in his room without distraction. Tristan is still finding distractions in his room, his stamp album, his computer etc... We've now changed his password so that he needs an adult to logon for him.

More Canoeing

The other big adventure we went on was a joint cubs and scouts canoe trip up Lane Cove river. It was a lot of fun but it rained a lot too. Coming home, the cubs decided that they were already wet so it wouldn't matter if they got wetter.

My phone still hasn't dried out enough to work again.

A Kiddie Weird-ism

Kaelan did a great job setting the table earlier this week. In fact, he went so far as to add placemats (which he designed and drew himself). I think he was basing them on a restaurant or something because it looked like he made up a name with Joey's name in it.

Each was emblazoned with "cock r Jo" with a secondary line of well come.

We (the adults) all had a good laugh about the connotations of his misspellings but it was a lovely thought on his part.

The Cruise - Part 3 (P&O: This is NOT how to Holiday!)

2011-02-10T19:25:00.006+11:00

So, we finally get to part 3 of the cruise. Why so long between posts? Well, I wanted to give P&O a chance to be nice.

Unfortunately P&O Cruises "like to take you for a ride" in more ways that one.

Be warned... The gauntlets are off. There's no bad language here but I'm not going to spare P&O cruises the embarrassment associated with their misdeeds.

Shore leave

One thing you notice about all the P&O advertisements are those pictures of beautiful islands. In fact that's why people go on cruises - to go to islands, not to spend eight days trapped on a ship. Sure, there's parties on the ships for the young ones but for families... forget it.

We were promised three islands; New Caledonia, Mystery Island and the Isle of Pines. We got one - the transshipment port of Luganville. It was a container yard plus a few broken shops with no beach in sight. It had also been raining for three days.

In fact, it was so bad that when we got home Kaelan burst into tears when one of the P&O's lying advertisements came on the TV. "That is what it was supposed to be like!", he shouted.

Heck! If a child on the autism spectrum with learning difficulties can burst into tears at the injustice of a soulless company like P&O, then there's got to be something wrong.

So, lets have a look at Luganville;

Kaelan looking at Luganville in disgust....

You can see that there's no pretty beaches there.

In fact, just so you can see why we're annoyed with P&O, I've made a poster to send to all my friends..

Arrests on the P&O Cruise

So, given the utterly rubbish nature of our P&O cruise and the facts that;

the pools were closed for most of the trip.
the side and front decks were closed for most of the trip
the trip was so rough that my son fell out of bed from the top bunk
they attempted to serve us disgusting six-day old prawns (and made everyone wait in line for more than 30 minutes to get them).
they didn't go to ANY of the three islands they promised.
they tried to charge me $10 for simply sitting in a deck chair
they cancelled shows.

You could be forgiven for thinking that's it - and I think you could probably understand that by the end of eight days trapped on a rusty rocky boat that most of the people onboard were no longer friendly.

So, as we approached Sydney, everyone was relieved that the trip was coming to an end but some frustrated people decided to jump in the pool - even though it was netted.

The P&O guards grabbed them, handcuffed them and took them off to the brig.

It happened several times over - YES, people really were that frustrated on the trip. In the end, we saw that about 12 people were arrested. The P&O's total disregard for their passengers might have made me vomit but I didn't - after all, they'd probably want to arrest me for that too.

NEVER AGAIN P&O! - For the amount of money we paid, we could have FLOWN to a resort where there was guaranteed pool access and good weather.

The Aftermath

We complained and we probably would have been happy with a third of the costs cut off a future trip which actually reached its destination but no - P&O replied instead with a letter telling us all about how hard it was to provide a good holiday and why they never offer compensation.

You don't get anything back from insurance either - they've disclaimed themselves too well for that.

I'll leave you with this youtube video clip of the Pacific Sun, the boat we went on. This didn't happen on our trip but it gives you a taste of what you might expect.

The Cruise - Part 2

2011-01-21T10:44:00.004+11:00

The Costly Life on Board

One thing that really bothered me on the cruise was that once you're on board their boat, you're trapped. I'd had my head filled with visions of unlimited drink (non-alcoholic) refills and free ice cream but sadly that was not to be. Everything cost money - and it cost much more money than it would on land. It was all on their terms.

Water and coffee/tea was free but that was it. Orange juice was free at breakfast time only. They also wouldn't let you fill containers. I should have brought a funnel.

The pool was free too - but that was closed for most of the trip partially because it was too rocky but also because they decided to do maintenance during our holiday - thanks again guys!! (grr)

Kids club was free - and as I mentioned before, that was fantastic for the boys.

The deck chairs were free too, but since the pool was out, none of them were vacant. Even worse, people would get up and "reserve" them for the entire day by leaving their stuff on them. It was frustrating.

Tristan on deck on one of those days when it was too rough and too windy to use the pool... apparently...

I was so desperate for a deck chair that I went for a walk around the boat looking for a free one in a different area. I finally found a free one - in fact, several free ones, in a nice part called The Oaais. It was a kid-free area but otherwise nothing special. I no sooner sat down when I was approached by a staff member. She was very apologetic (I found that most staff members hated having to do awful things to guests) but she said she'd have to charge me $10 to sit there. I got up immediately. I'd like to say that I left a fart on their expensive chair but I couldn't exactly manage one at the time. A pity.

Trivial Improvements

Things started to improve as we got into shipboard life. Maree and her family quickly found their feet and started branching off into activities like Bingo and Trivia. We didn't actually attend bingo as it's not our thing but unfortunately that meant that we missed seeing Michael do the "chicken dance" for having called out Bingo! unnecessarily.

Maree won Trivia very early in the piece. It seemed really impressive at the time but now, following our failed joint efforts to repeat the feat, it's likely that the crowd was smaller when she played. Trivia was actually a lot of fun and the person who ran it had a great sense of humor. He put up with all of the "Batkins or Bollykins" (as we called our teams) behaviour dropping comments about "what kind of laugh is that?" at my giggle and pointing out when we smiled excessively. He even showed interest in Hayden's ice cream.

The rest of the shows were not particularly overwhelming, though the comedy guy was pretty funny. Actually, I'm not sure if he was funny or if it was just my mother laughing which made him seem funny. There was a music show which was painful to watch as they tried desperately to NOT give away a free cruise. In the end they resorted to some rather offensive and cheating antics to save money. We went away feeling very sorry for the contestant who had been humiliated on stage for nothing.

Restaurants

After a while we realized that the buffet food wasn't entirely edible and switched to the restaurants. We celebrated Joanne's birthday there one night and it was great. Of course, eating in restaurants had its drawbacks and the kids were barely controllable during meals. Tristan could have opened a shop with the selection of clothing he made from various serviettes.

Tristan displaying the headscarf variation of serviette wear.

Fortunately there was only one night when the kids got so out of hand that they started knocking drinks over and climbing under the table. Other than that night, it was great to be able to have meals with the entire family (including Maree's family and my parents) at the one table. That doesn't happen at home because we don't have an eleven-seater table.

One night at the restaurant was so rough that we kept almost falling off our chairs - and across the table. Amazingly, nothing was spilled that night.

Movies on the Boat

I'd also been told to expect constant movies on the boat but in truth they only did one per day. None of them were action flicks, they were all talky and distant and they weren't generally the best. The first one we tried to watch "The Lottery Ticket" was barely in English, being primiarly in jive. As such, it was mostly gibberish to the kids. At one point, after an all-jive group conversation in a park, Tristan asked me if they were all drunk. We walked out a few minutes later.

Then there was "the social network" which I had been keen to see. They started the movie much earlier than the advertised time and so while we and others thought we were walking into the beginning, we were actually walking into the last 15 minutes. We didn't bother watching any more movies after that - although the kids got one every night in kids club (all ones they'd already seen though).

Shore Leave

Well, that brings us to the end of Part 2 of the Cruise. What? Shore leave... oh yes. We were supposed to be stopping in New Caledonia on the third day of the trip and we were all looking forward to it because we were all going a bit stir crazy on the boat - or is that Cabin Fever?

But then the captain announced that we would be sailing for two more days. Apparently there was a tropical cyclone which was too close to our destination - no kidding, we'd all been looking at it on the weather charts for two days but this was the first time they actually acknowledged it. Instead of making three island stops, we were reduced to one - and even then it wasn't one that was on our schedule.

A lot of passengers were upset and angry. I saw one girl burst into tears upon hearing the announcement.

I'll cover shore leave in the third (and hopefully final) post on the cruise. The wait should give you a taste of what we went through....

The Cruise - Part 1

2011-01-18T20:00:00.007+11:00

Kaelan was a bit "over it" before we'd even started.

We'll, we're back and we're alive and well, so you know that this story has a happy ending (of sorts). On 10th January, we went on a cruise. My sister Maree and her family came too as did my parents. Our holidays have always had a bit of a "National Lampoon Vacation" feel to them and this one was no exception. The last great Bollard Family Vacation...

So where did we go? Well, let's not get ahead of ourselves. Perhaps we should start with "Where were you supposed to go?". The cruise was supposed to go to two places in New Caledonia and also to Mystery Island. We figured that with a professional captain like you'd expect on a P&O cruise, we'd arrive at our destination without drama. We figured wrong.

Warning Signs

As you know, no Vacation movie starts with the Griswald family already on vacation. There's always warning signs first - and we had lots.

First there was a massive stuff-up with the travel agent, who needed to be paid in full by a certain deadline. Joanne experienced an internet banking issue (she forgot to click OK on the second confirmation screen) and the payment didn't go through. We were contacted with only hours to spare before the deadline. We had the funds ready, so all we had to do was wire them through - but then the travel agent told us that electronic transmission was too slow for them and we had to pay in cash.

Of course, by this time our original payment had already been processed, so we had to pay twice. Then pay fees to try to get the payment reversed. It took months (and lots of calls and badgering) to get that money back and it stretched our already strained budget to the max. It's fair to say that we ended up unintentionally dieting before the cruise.

Then there were all the issues around passports but I just don't have the space here to cover them suffice to say that everything has to be written in triplicate, signed front and back, witnessed by unrelated persons of varying levels of qualification and the gatekeeper process is protected by a team of pedantic vultures. At one point we got turned away because our children hadn't signed their own passports. They can't even print their names clearly yet!

Preparation

Then there was cruise preparation. We had a few disagreements while packing but that's fairly normal for us. What we didn't expect was to find ourselves suddenly having to deal with a "dying freezer" on the afternoon before the cruise. Suddenly all our preparations went out the window and our hopes of leaving an unsmelly bin went with them.

We couldn't figure out why our freezer chose that exact moment to pack it in but since it was full (and it's a big upright freezer), we had to get rid of a lot of stuff. In the end, we figured out that the freezer hadn't died, it was just that the kids hadn't shut the door after getting an ice block out the night before. (Grrrr).

Getting on the Boat

We prepared the boys well in advance and both received the same solemn advice about not climbing the rails, plus of course the "training video"; Speed 2: Cruise Control (which they both knew was fictitious).

Everything went well until we got to the terminal but then Kaelan started crying and wouldn't be reassured. When it came to the actual line to get on he turned and ran in the opposite direction. Joanne decided to give chase and there was a not-so-merry game of tag in the terminal. It sounds awful and it was but truth be told it was at least a little funny to watch.

He was still crying in our first photos which nevertheless turned out well - and he was still crying as we climbed onboard.

Approaching the Bridge and the Sydney Opera House

Things improved slightly as we walked past some of the food and the cakes and bread-sculptures caught his attention but he was still a little sad when we got to our room. It was Tristan who changed the mood by excitedly running around the room switching everything on and opening all the doors. That was an amazing icebreaker but unfortunately Tristan never actually stopped opening and closing everything and switching things on and off. Eight days later it was becoming rather wearisome.

Within about 20 minutes though, all was forgotten as Kaelan joined in the fun. Then they discovered "kid's club", their semi-permanent base of operations.

We went and got some food from their bistro and then before we could start eating it, the announcement came over; "we're going to start with an emergency siren, a move to evacuation points and a life-jacket drill". Great... I thought. We'd only just gotten him settled.

Thankfully, Kaelan was only mildly freaked by the sounds and the pantomine disaster. Tristan however was ready for the real deal.

Fortunately, Kaelan made it through the session without regression.

Getting out of Sydney was an awesome and amazing experience. Apart from my bridge walk, I've never seen the underside of the bridge quite so closely. I'm not quite sure if I want to get much closer to it.

There was a bit of a gasp from the crowd onboard when the top of the funnel narrowly (and I mean "narrowly") missed the bridge.

Yep, that ladder at the top of the funnel almost "scraped" by.

It was also fun to see that a cruise boat stops ALL traffic in the harbor. Circular Quay ground to a standstill as we passed.

It took a while to get out of the harbour and there were some amazing sights along the way. I kept up a (probably dull) commentary with the kids, explaining about shipwreak locations, Sydney's defensive capabilities, reefs, bouys and other such boyish things.

We stayed on deck until we were outside the heads.

Next we had dinner and then the kids went up to the "really windy spot" (the bow).

That "windy spot" really was a bit windy.

The kids love the bow it and would have visited it every single day were it not for the fact that the ship's crew closed it later that night and didn't reopen it for more than a couple of hours during our entire trip. Thanks Guys! Really thoughtful.

Stay tuned, there's more to come..

Kaelan's Creative Writing - "My Dad" by Kaelan Bollard

2011-01-10T10:31:00.002+11:00

It's very rare that I see any creative writing from Kaelan - plenty of drawings but never more than a line or two. Imagine my surprise when cleaning up his room I found this on a USB Stick...

I've changed the address for anonymity but otherwise it's as is.

My Dad

My dad's name is Gavin. He was born in when they first got on the moon in 1969 .

My dad is 41 years old .

Dad has one sister and no brothers .

He has 4 people in his family.

Dad ,Mum ,Kaelan ,Tristan.

He lives at Sultana Ave

Balcombe Heights.

Dad likes to play on the computer and he likes to fix them. Dad likes his job the best.

I think my dad is the best and he is very clever.

By Kaelan Bollard.

Thanks Kaelan, that's probably the best Christmas present yet...

Christmas 2010 Roundup

2010-12-29T09:51:00.006+11:00

Christmas 2010 was a good one.

The timing of course was difficult. Christmas Eve was a Friday, so there wasn't an easy half-day Saturday to do emergency shopping. Nope, I went home from work and it was already Christmas Eve.

Christmas Eve

Joanne's parents and Brother (Grandma, Grandad and Uncle Paul) stayed over at our house on Christmas Eve. We had a nice Barbeque dinner - the usual Bollard BBQ; Steak, Sausages, BBQ Mushrooms, BBQ Toad in the Hole (can you see the Scouting influence?) plus Salads. Then it was time to read the kids their Christmas stories and put them to bed.

They got read; The Night before Christmas and Always Room for a Little One.

The kids went to sleep surprisingly well, with few arguements and "nil returns" (ie: no coming back out of bed).

The adults stayed up and had a few drinks and talked - it was nice.

At about 10pm, we started sorting out the trampoline, in the dark. It was really, really heavy and it was very complicated to put up. I'm glad that Joanne's brother and father were on hand to help (thanks Guys!). It took most of the night just to get the base set up and we decided to leave the nets for when the kids woke up.

Of course we needed a guinea pig to test it but decided that ours probably wouldn't be heavy enough - so it had to be me. I was asked to do acrobatics on the trampoline (without the net) but although I could do the knee bounce, every time I tried a bum bounce, I couldn't get up again. (btw: I've since mastered the art)

The Christmas tree before the carnage

Christmas Morning

I woke up at about 6am and there was no noise in the house. It's hardly surprising because I'm deaf. After being cautioned by Joanne not to make any noise, I slipped downstairs to watch the fun - only to discover that Joanne's parents had been up since 4am and the kids had been up since 4:30. Even worse, in their milling about "itching to open their presents" behaviour, they'd discovered the "secret" presents under their beds (they're not supposed to find them until well after Christmas morning).

So, we went in to where the tree was and started unwrapping. The kids were very excited but still managed to restrain themselves so that they took about the same time to unwrap their presents and savour the moment. Kaelan dropped a whole pile of his wrappings onto his other presents (and lost them for a while), then they went outside to jump on the trampoline - coming inside only to grab another handful of candy.

Tristan shows us exactly how big his lollypop is.

After cleaning up the wrapping paper (the boys didn't move their toys to their rooms until the next day (and even then only with a lot of protesting), Paul Jr and I put up the net around the trampoline. While we were doing that and remarking on the size of the thing, Tristan came over, smiled and then pointed accusingly at me. "You did this", he said. "I did what?" I asked.

Then he told me how the trampoline couldn't fit into Santa's sleigh. I tried explaining that it was probably dimensionally transcendental like the Doctor's TARDIS but he was having none of it. Eventually I just got on and started jumping and he forgot the conversation immediately. The jumping made me so hot and puffed that I had to get in the pool to cool down - and therein passed the morning.

Christmas Lunch

For Christmas lunch we had Turkey and Prawns. There was other stuff too various salads etc; but the T&P was the best. Dessert was pavlova shells with double-cream and various fruits in them.

The boys playing with their balls on the trampoline.

Then the kids went off the play with their new toys - Kaelan "helped" Tristan by opening most of his packets while he was jumping on the trampoline. We explained to him about how that's not actually a nice thing to do (maybe he won't do it next year). Luckily, Tristan didn't seem to mind too much. While the kids played, the adults took turns to fall asleep in the middle of conversations.

We had leftover turkey and prawns for dinner on Christmas day.

Boxing Day

Actually we didn't do anything on Boxing day except clean up and relax. We were pretty tired. Very tired... I was installing a new game on Tristan's PC and the bar graph was taking a long time. I accidentally crashed out on his bedroom floor and woke up three hours later. That's how tired we were.

We had leftover turkey and prawns for lunch on Boxing day.

My parents and Maree and Michael and their family turned up at about 4-ish. We all had a good time catching up and the boys went for a swim. Then we had a Christmas dinner of .... wait for it... Turkey and Prawns!!! This time it wasn't leftover because we'd bought three turkeys (one for Christmas and two for boxing day - more people to feed) and we'd bought several bags of prawns too.

Dessert was a scary-looking but nice tasting ice cream pudding that Maree made. She went to suspiciously great lengths to assure me that there were no sultanas in it. We also had a pavlova which was really nice.

The Christmas family shot - doesn't everyone look like they want to be there?

The day after boxing day... we had leftover prawns and turkey for lunch.... It was really nice but I think I might be over it for now...

Thanks everyone for helping to make 2010 such as Great Christmas!

The Bollard Christmas Message

2010-12-23T15:25:00.003+11:00

Yes, it's that time of year again and Santa has been busily wrapping gifts till all hours of the morning - and is very tired.

To me, Christmas is, among other things, the beginning of the end of the year. It's a time to reflect on all the good things in our lives and all of the people who have made those good things possible.

We've had a lot of support throughout the year and we don't always acknowledge it. Thank you to all our friends and relatives who have been there for us, who have helped out, listened, chatted, empathised or even just given us that much needed LOL or :-). You've all helped us to feel appreciated and to carry on doing what we do.

Our kids had great teachers this year and great support teachers. Their tutor, as always, was excellent too. I think it shows in their confidence levels, their smiles and their willingness to attend school. Thank you for being there for our children and for taking the time to really get to know them.

We had some great help from our friends and relatives, particularly those who minded the boys when we needed time out. You can't underestimate how much it helped us to keep our sanity and our marriage together.

We had (some) great neighbours who helped us drown our sorrows when the Council wouldn't play fair, helped us when emergencies arose and generally waved to us from their front lawns to let us know that we were still in a friendly place. Thank you!

We had all kinds of help down at the scout hall too, leaders, parents and various members of the commmunity; the council landcare and community sections and surf lifesaving Australia. You all volunteered your time and services, often at very short notice, to help make a difference in our lives and the lives of other children in our area - Thank you!

Thank you to the online community. Our facebook, twitter, forum, chat and blogger friends. You have helped us find a sense of belonging, given us a place to vent our frustrations and listened, advised and empathised with our struggles.

As usual, we have a newsletter which we've surface mailed to people we have an address for. If you missed it, it's here. You can also browse our past years of newsletters and "funny" Christmas photos here.

Thank you everyone and have a great Christmas (or silly season, if you prefer) and I look forward to renewing our acquaintance in 2011!

The Annual Sydney Christmas Exploration

2010-12-22T08:30:00.000+11:00

It was one of our last family adventures of the year and one of the first non-scouting adventures in ages - our annual Christmas trip into town.

Since the aim of the trip is simply to get the boys a little more excited about Christmas, I think we can say we succeeded.

We caught the bus in and after a seemingly interminable wait, the bus arrived. It was 20 minutes late and it was standing room only.

The trip into town was difficult because the boys didn't hold on nearly as much as they should have. Someone moved over to let Tristan sit down but because he couldn't keep still for more than five minutes, he got up and someone else took his seat. On the plus side, the boys made a new friend on the bus.

Once we arrived in town, we headed down to the big Christmas tree. It's got new decorations this year and it held their interest for a minute or two.

We walked around the tree to the "Matrix fountain" in Martin Place. I don't know what it's really called but it's something of a permanent fixture in our visits. At the time, they were cleaning the fountain (no cleaners in sight, just a lot of detergent bubbles). The kids had a great time throwing and blowing bubbles. I'm sure it was all full of dangerous chemicals but there were plenty of babies around enjoying a good frolic in the bubbles too.

Next stop was the Pitt Street Mall which was, as usual decorated with vaguely christmas-shaped aluminium lights. We had a quick look in the new westfield but it was just "too shiny" for our tastes (and too girly). Then it was off to David Jones who have a fun annual "moving window display". It's always full of "rats" (ie: there are anamatronic mice in every scene). One mother shot me a funny look when I said to the kids, "let's move onto the next rat-infested carolers window".

We picked up some reindeer antlers while we were there too.

Next stop was the Queen Victoria Building where we had a look at their awesome crystal tree. Then we headed up to the model shop and spent a few hours looking at stuff we couldn't afford.

Next, we went out to the front of the QVB and listened to the weird talking dog statue. Everytime it woofed, the kids burst into peals of laughter. We attracted quite a crowd.

Finally, I took the boys to the comic book store to show them the awesome figures they had. Kaelan was really interested in the Terminator comics.

Then it was time to catch the bus home and rest our poor tired feet.

Another year done.

Kiddie Quotes: December 2010

2010-12-19T16:44:00.002+11:00

Now that the year is finally winding down, I'm getting to spend more time with the kids on their own and as a result, I'm hearing more "quotable stuff", here's a few;

[Conversation about some swirling leaves]

Tristan: It's like a predator making the leaves go around and around.

Other Kid: Huh? No it's like a twister

Tristan: We've got a game which is called twister

[Patting his tummy after finishing a buddy bottle of soft drink]

Tristan: I'm nearly fat like you, dad"

[In the supermarket trying to buy recess snacks for the boys]

Kaelan: Don't get the Thomas the tank engine one because I don't want to be teased at school.

Gavin: Has someone been teasing you at school for taking them?

Kaelan: No, but I'd tease someone if I saw them with that.

Stamps

Kaelan has been getting into stamp collecting lately so it's not surprising that some of his best musings have been stamp-related.

[Joanne was talking about receiving some legal documents in the mail]

Kaelan: I wonder what the stamp will look like.

[Gavin talking about sending out a Christmas card]

Kaelan: I wonder which stamp we should put on it. (and he got his stamp book out and everything).

We were in the paper....

2010-12-13T14:08:00.003+11:00

We got into the local paper last week because I won a CPR course for a group and took it to cubs.

Thanks Joey for taking the photo.

Attempted Break-In

2010-10-18T08:21:00.004+11:00

This weekend was already going to be special because it's the weekend that we put our investment property on the market. We're sorry to see it go but we've decided that after a year of driving on the dirt, we really would prefer to have a driveway. It's the only way that we're going to be able to afford one.

The big day was Saturday, and the open house was at 12 noon. Joanne (who really does want to work for the lifestyle channel) has been busy making all kinds of things (wall hangings etc) to help sell the property.

I've been ribbing her (and complaining) all the while, mainly because of all the extra work when we could be doing nice things instead - and it's led to a few heated arguments between us. Of course, when all is said and done, hard work aside, she's very good. You can see one of her hand-painted wall hangings in the picture above. It matches the bed perfectly and we've had a lot of good comments about the presentation of the property. I think she's missed her calling.

So, Saturday was supposed to be a "grudging-gardening" morning - before the open house. Somehow we were supposed to fit the kid's tutoring in too.

The kids and I got up at 7am and I asked them to put Panda outside for her morning duties but they couldn't get the front door open. I had a go too but it was stuck fast. At first, I thought it was probably just the house moving but it really wasn't a hot day.

Eventually I went around the front and had a look at the door. The handle had been broken.

Joey didn't believe me when I told her that we'd had an attempted break in. I thought it was probably just kids mucking around. She called the police and they asked us to check the car. It was unlocked...

The thieves had taken the keys to the investment property. I quickly went round to check if it was ok but there were no signs of entry. That was good. Of course, now we had no keys. Even worse, the real estate had told us that they'd lost their keys the day before - and there was an open house at noon. Again, we were lucky. The real estate found their keys and cut us a set, we don't have a mailbox key any more but we at least have some of the others.

We went back home and waited until the forensics person arrived (in her blue CSI style suit with white writing on the back). The neighbours must have thought we had a homicide. Unfortunately there were no prints on or in the car. Joanne told the forensics officer that she'd spoken to some other people in the neighbourhood and said that their door had been jammed too. They didn't realise that they'd had an attempted break-in. Then the forensics officer told us that she'd been busy that morning with a spate of robberies a few streets away.

It wasn't kids, it was an organised gang. They had been breaking into two-storey houses while those upstairs were asleep. They knew how to bypass the garage roller-doors to open them quietly and they'd been loading their victim's cars up with their possessions and driving off - it's a good thing we don't have a driveway yet.

It wasn't until later that we started noticing other little things, for example; the cover had been removed off the barbecue. The thieves must have investigated it and then realised that it was an old one. Again, someone was watching over us. Last month, Joey and I were talking about buying a new barbecue to celebrate our 13th Anniversary. We decided against it - we had too many other expenses at the time. Lucky too, because otherwise it would be gone.

The kids were pretty freaked out too, knowing that "baddies" had come so close to getting into our house. It's taking them longer to get to sleep because they're up at the windows watching out for their return.

So, this week we'll be fortifying our house and enhancing our security systems and maybe, just maybe, Joanne will be able to sleep towards the end of the week.

End of Term 3 School Holiday Update

2010-10-14T09:50:00.001+11:00

Monday was the first day back at school for the kids and the start of the final term of the year. This year has flown.

Normally there would be jubilant shouts (from Joanne and I) because the kids are back at school but truth be told, we haven't really been the best parents these holidays. For a start, we were both very sick at the beginning and then we were (and still are) so preoccupied with getting our investment property ready for sale that we haven't spent proper quality time with the kids.

The kids have been mostly good regardless but most of that is due to my parents and Joanne's parents helping out with child minding. Thank you so much for that!

In the days since we've had both boys back at home together, there have been constant fights, the worst of which was when Tristan got so frustrated with Kaelan that he took the mattress off his bed and threw it down the stairs at him. That boy is strong.

The boys did go down to the park a couple of times. I had stuff to do at the scout hall, so I drove (I had a lot of things to move). The kids walked (or in Kaelan's case, rode his bike). I watched from a distance as they crossed the road. They looked both ways carefully before crossing. I was impressed.

Octoberfest

We tried to make up for the lack of attention during the holidays by taking the boys to the Winston Hills Octoberfest on Sunday. They had a great time and got a little spoilt. I got them a showbag each and gave them an opportunity for a ride. Tristan chose a spaceship ride and Kaelan chose the giant slide. It was a bit embarrassing watching Kaelan do his slide because he kept his feet out and stopped a few times in mid-slide because he didn't want it to go too fast.

Funnily enough, Kaelan's favourite part of the Octoberfest was actually the simulation rescue helicopter which was free and I had a hard time getting him out of it. I also got Tristan a rescue support bear and I got Kaelan a cap gun.

Kiddie Quotes

Kaelan [to his teacher]: "Sorry! I cant do that Maths, my ruler only goes up to 30"

Kaelan [to his class when they were talking about the Sun]: "I think that the sun was a giant gas planet that was hit by a fireball or something. The gas inside is the reason that stuff comes out of it like giant farts"

Kaelan: "Hey Dad! Guess What! I built a Death Ride!"

[Kaelan was playing Rollercoaster Tycoon on the computer and built a ride in which two roller coasters crash and burn]

Monster Mash

I also did a new JibJab - It's called Monster Mash and this time, Panda is undoubtedly the star.

Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab!

Last Week of September to First Week of October 2010 Update

2010-10-05T08:11:00.002+11:00

The school holidays are almost over and although we've had no spare moments at the Bollard house, it doesn't feel like we've achieved a whole lot.

For a start, Joanne has had the flu for almost a month and I got too - though only for a little over a week. It was so bad that I had to take an entire week off work and miss a couple of important scout events.

We're mostly over it now but things still don't smell or taste normal yet.

The Investment Property

Much as we love our investment property (and we once had plans to buy both properties and make little houses for the kids there), we're going to have to sell it. Those constant interest rate hikes have seen to that.

Our last tennant has gone - and good riddance too. She has left holes around the eaves of the house where she attached an anti-cat net - to keep her "illegal" cats (we said no pets) from eating the chickens next door.

There's black stuff in the sink drain(like tar). It took a day of soaking and a lot of scrubbing to get off. The sink itself is severely scratched, so we surmise that the whole thing was probably once covered in tar.

So, we've been hard at work trying to fix the place up to sell although Joanne seems to think we're on the lifestyle channel because she wants to fully furnish the rooms. She used that as an excuse to score a new lounge.

I told her that if we were really on the lifestyle channel, then as the home owners, we were supposed to go on holiday while someone else fixes it up for free. Our job is just to come home and act surprised. Somehow I don't think that's going to happen.

We've been busy putting a bamboo screen up (for which I bought a drill which actually works - ie; not rechargable) and we've painted the fence. I painted the grass too, just so it blends in.

It's been difficult work, particularly as it has rained almost the entire weekend - I'm surprised that the paint stayed on the fence.

We've still got a few things to do but they need expert hands so we'll be getting someone to help. Joanne's first quote was $30k, a sure sign that she's going a bit overboard. I think she's got it back to a sensible number now but I'm too scared to look.

The Kids

We're grateful to Joanne's mum for minding Kaelan while we were both sick - even though she wasn't entirely well herself. Thanks too to my parents who had both boys for the weekend and who have Tristan for the rest of the week.

Joanne said to me, while we were painting the fence. "Isn't it nice that we can spend some time together?" but I said "no", doing chores together isn't really quality time. On the plus side though, we did go out for dinner twice - and that was nice. It gave us a chance to talk without being interrupted.

Anyway, the school holidays are nearly over and it's time to buckle down for another term. Scouts is beginning too - and this time, I'm Akela, so there's going to be extra work involved.

Oh well, "head down, bum up" - I think that's the phrase anyway.

That Special Number: 13

2010-09-27T17:27:00.004+10:00

Today is a very special day. Today is my 13th Wedding Anniversary. I know, 13; lucky for some - right?

This is no ordinary anniversary though. It's not simply that Joanne and I are still getting over this terrible flu - that makes it "not ordinary" in the worst sense. It's awful to think that we're so unwell that even a hug is more bothersome than comfortable.

We're going to have to restage the whole thing in a week or two. This number is too important to miss.

Joanne and I first met each other at school in 1984. I was 15 and she was 13 (that lucky number again). Our school and after-school romance was quite rocky at times but somehow we kept getting back together hence our song is "Every Road Leads Back to You" by Bette Midler.

After a number of years together, we took an overseas trip and I proposed to her on top of the Eiffel Tower. It was a clumsy, fumbled proposal because the ring got stuck in my pocket and I was trying to get it out without her noticing. Needless to say, she did seem surprised but managed to say "yes".

In 1997, we got married. For those who are quick with their numbers, yes... It's that magic number 13 again. Thirteen years since we'd met...

Like all marriages, ours had it's rocky moments. I can remember early fights in our "new" house where she'd slam the door knowing that the noise would bother me. "Don't slam MY door!!", I'd shout, to which she'd cheekily reply, "why not, it's my door too...". Most of those early fights ended in laughter.

It was kids that nearly killed us. We got on famously with each other but we weren't ready for the kids, each with their own quirky personalities and special needs. They drove both of us to distraction - and still do - like miniature versions of ourselves.

Now we're family again. All is in harmony. I'm sure that there are still lots of difficult times to come but right now, I can relax and reflect on what a wonderful influence Joanne has been in my life.

Congratulations Joey!

As from today we've finally been married for MOST of the time we've known each other.

Every Road Leads Back to You by Bette Midler

Thought I'd include the lyrics...

Old friend, here we are,

after all the years and tears

and all that we've been through.

It feels so good to see you.

Lookin' back in time,

there've been other friends and other lovers,

but no other one like you.

All my life, no one ever has known me better.

I must have traveled down a thousand roads.

Been so many places, seen so many faces,

always on my way to somethin' new.

Ohhh, but it doesn't matter,

'cause no matter where I go,

every road leads back,

every road just seems to lead me back to you.

Old friend, there were times

I didn't want to see your face

or hear your name again.

Now those times are far behind me.

It's so good to see your smile.

I'd forgotten how nobody else

could make me smile the way you do.

All this time, you're the one I still want beside me.

I must have traveled down a thousand roads.

Been so many places, seen so many faces,

always on my way to somethin' new.

Ohh, but it doesn't matter,

'cause no matter where I go,

every road leads back,

every road just seems to lead me back to you.

I must have traveled down a thousand roads.

Been so many places, seen so many faces,

always on my way to somethin' new.

Ohh, but it doesn't matter,

'cause no matter where I go,

every road leads back,

every road just seems to lead me back,

every road leads back,

every road just seems to lead me back to you.

Every road just seems to lead me back to you.

Kiddie Quote: Sharks

2010-09-02T06:59:00.002+10:00

I know this is a little racist but kids will be kids...

Tristan brought a shark book home from school recently and was excitedly pointing at all the pictures to tell us about them. He pointed at a picture of a hammerhead shark and said "look mum, that's a Chinese shark because it's eyes are on the side of its head".

Kaelan's Not So Good Day at School

2010-08-29T10:38:00.002+10:00

Last Thursday, Kaelan had a bad day at school. He missed out on his Concerta (day-strength Ritalin) two days in a row and consequently was a little "off kilter".

Everybody's Kung-Foo Fighting....

At recess, he and his mates were "pretend fighting". This involves doing slo-mo karate kicks and punches which don't actually make contact as each other. A little girl wandered past their group and Kaelan threw a kick at her without actually letting her know that it was a game.

She ducked and then decked him one - and the fight was on.

Luckily, they were "saved by the bell" and had to return to class.

Then, at lunch time, the girl's big brother paid Kaelan a visit and a more serious fight began. Eventually the vice principal managed to pull them apart.

After a while the vice principal got the story out of them and the two boys who were really good friends said sorry. Apparently there was a very cute "If we'd known it was only pretend, we would never of hit each other ..." type apology.

Joanne still got a call at home about it but this was good. It meant that she was ready for Kaelan to burst into tears when she picked him up after school.

An Unrewarding Experience

As it turned out, the day wasn't over. At Kaelan's school, they award points for good behavior. Naturally, it takes Kaelan a long time to earn enough points to get anything. He'd been saving his points for the whole year and eventually he got enough to get the lowest prize... a lollipop.

It made his day to finally get it.

Unfortunately, he started eating it immediately after school, while he was waiting to be picked up. A teacher saw him and told him to put it away or get rid of it. Obviously anyone who's ever sucked a lollipop knows that there's no way to put these things away neatly once they're wet - and there's no way he was going to throw it away... ...so instead, he just tried to suck on it more discreetly.

It didn't work. (BTW: The teacher on the line had no idea that this was a prize he'd worked towards all year).

The teacher came over and grabbed the lollipop off him and threw it in the bin. Not willing to see his prize stolen, Kaelan tried to get it out of the bin only to be told that it was now "rubbish" and that he wasn't allowed to get it.

So...

Then he got his schoolbag and threw that in the bin too. The teacher told him to get it but he told her that it was "rubbish" and he wasn't allowed to get it out of the bin.

I think they were a little shocked.

When Joanne drove up, the teacher handed Kaelan's bag to her, plus the lollipop. She tried to tell Joanne her personal sob story but Joey just replied that "he's had a really bad day and he's probably a bit over it".

The Aftermath

It took Kaelan most of the night to calm down enough to tell us exactly what happened. We told him to "go and apologise to the teacher tomorrow" because she didn't know that the lollipop was special.

After a bit of explaining, Kaelan finally understood her point of view. In the meantime, I think that the yard duty teacher talked to Kaelan's teacher and found out about his terrible day. Kaelan did remember to apologise and his room teacher told him that the yard teacher was in tears.

We haven't yet figured out if she was in tears over the incident or over the apology but we hope it's the latter.

Mid-August 2010 Family Update (The three Rs)

2010-08-18T07:21:00.008+10:00

It's hell trying to get the kids into a decent photographic pose... how's this?

Bike Riding

Since the boys across the road are now riding "big bikes", our kids have been encouraged to spend some time each weekend riding their bikes with them.

Of course, Kaelan is still riding a bike which has training wheels (and is far too small for him) while Tristan refuses to use even a small bike. It's tricycles only for him. Even then Tristan's riding only lasts for a few minutes before he gets distracted and starts picking up sticks instead.

Kaelan's balance has improved significantly though and we'll probably be raising his training wheels a little soon. We'll just have to make sure that he doesn't know because he's easily freaked out by things like that.

Drawing

Kaelan's drawing skills continue to improve and he's now starting to draw some disjointed comics with recognisable characters. Since drawing is obviously a strength of his, we're trying to use it to compensate for his writing difficulties. We're also thinking that we might enrol him in an art (drawing) class during the holidays.

He had to do an assessment task on the Prodigal Son. He was allowed to do it as a story, poem, artwork, song, presentation etc. Since his strength lies in drawing, I got him to do it as a comic. He did it at school so I haven't seen it but hopefully he's been reasonably tasteful about it. He does tend to include animals and people which fart-fire for no reason in his comics.

When I get a chance, I'll scan some of his drawings in and post them here for posterity.

A good photo of Kaelan with Grandma

Reading

Kaelan's reading has improved a lot this year and for the first time, we're seeing him actually enjoying reading. He loves the Zac Powers books. Tristan's reading is really coming on too and he constantly surprises me with the things he can read.

Tristan's listening skills still need a lot of work though because even though he loves the enchanted woods series, we struggle to make a single chapter because he's jumping around on the bed so much.

A good photo of Tristan with Grandad

General Behaviour

At the moment, Kaelan is very much in the good books. He tries hard, does a lot of homework and helps out (after significant prodding) around the house. I think that a lot of this is the result of the Concerta (day-strength ritalin) that he is now on.

Kaelan does however still have difficulty restraining himself and will badger Tristan for hours to get him to come on the trampoline with him. If Tristan refuses, he'll call him names and try to hurt him. We're ramping up the "consequences" to deal with this but so far haven't found anything which is really effective.

Tristan by comparison is going through a really non co-operative period. He's refusing to do homework and when disciplinary measures are taken (time out or early bedtime) he has a "drop to the floor" rage followed by some form of revenge (messing up things and/or breaking things. It's obvious that we'll have to find bew behaviour modifiers for him but we're stuck for ideas ar the moment. Hopefully we'll think of something before everything gets broken.

Kiddie Quote

Kaelan is learning about convicts at school and so I dragged out the court orders for the first Bollard in Australia. He was convicted of stealing sheep. When we were kids, we were told that he was doing it to feed his family but after reading the records, I think there's more to the story. He didn't just steal one sheep, he stole a whole flock - and he branded them all with his own name.

Anyway I was uing a certain TV personality to explain what court orders were when Tristan piped up with....

"oh... no way am I ever gonna see Judge Judy!"

End of July Update

2010-07-31T19:16:00.000+10:00

There's certainly been a lot going on lately but looking back over this blog, it's very disjointed, so I'll try to fill in the gaps.

Pets Update
We had a lot of guinea pig questions following our adoption of "chewie' but fortunately there was a guinea pig show on at Castle Hill - so we took our questions there.

We were surprised to find mega-guinea pigs almost the size of a small dog. They had guinea pigs on sale too and Joanne wouldn't leave without getting one. We hadn't been to the bank and had almost no money on us but we scraped together all of our coinage and only just managed to make the target.

So now we have a second guinea pig, called MiloBear. Both names (milo and bear) were popular with the boys so we took the easy way out.

Of course, adding a pig suddenly meant that the cage was too small, so we had to
upgrade that too. Since I'm sure that you're sick of Guinea pig photos now, I'll include a photo of Panda instead .... trying out the new cage...

Since his introduction, milobear has used his size advantage to become King of the cage and chewie, true to his name, has taken to chewing the side of the cage - nervousness?

Panda seems to be getting on ok with the pigs. In fact, she and chewie are friends. Not "lie down on the mat together" friends but at least "lick you on the nose" friends. (or maybe that is "mmm... tastes like chicken" friends. The same isn't true for MiloBear though. Panda is scared of her because MB is a "nibble your little doggy toes" friend.

On a sad note, we lost a fish. Well, we didn't lose it, it died. I'm not sure if it was Fish A or Fish B but now there's only one.

Life in General

Life in general goes on in it's merry little way at the Bollard house. The kids are back at school after the term 2 holidays and as usual, they're a bit of a handful. The day starts off with them refusing to get changed, sitting in front of (almost on top of) the heater and teasing each other. Tristan is refusing to eat his wheat bix again after I accidentally put honey on it as a surprise. Now he won't eat them unless he gets honey.

Kaelan is having a meltdown almost every day before school because he leaves everything to the last minute. He'll happily vege out watching TV instead of getting ready then as the Joey gets in the car, he'll realise that he's got no idea where his shoes are.

At night, it's the same old routine of - "yuck! I'm not eating that". It's our life. We love it. There's nothing better than spending ages cooking a meal only to get that kind of response. Of course, my mother would say that I'm getting my just desserts.... she'd be right too.

Ice Skating

Today, we went ice skating with the Joey Scouts. I was talking to Tristan about going ice skating in the car and asked him if he would do it. He said it would be too scary and that he'd rather just go sit in a corner and build a snowman.

I said that there wouldn't be any snow, just ice and then he told me that he knew what to do because he'd learned it on the wii. (That would be the ski-jump game we have). I decided not to try explaining about ice skating. He could see it for himself when he got there.

As you'd expect, Tristan refused to go on the ice but since we'd already guessed that it would happen we didn't pay for him. Kaelan went though and after a bit of a cry (when he discovered that he couldn't skate like a pro), he gave up and spent most of the remaining time pestering us for food.

Eventually though, he put the skates back on and went out there to do a few walking/shuffling laps. I'm proud of him for that.

I had a skate myself and discovered that it's mostly like riding a bike. You don't forget what you've learned - but you do get wobbly. In the end I half-fell (one hand only) while doing a spin and then later on collided with someone who had decided to speed-skate in the opposite direction. All in all it was good fun.

A Kiddie Quote

One last thing. I had a good talk to Tristan in the car today and he was telling me to buy stuff for Joanne and for Kaelan. Since nobody knows what to get him, I asked him what he wanted.

In his own words....

"I've been prayer-ing to God to ask Santa to get me more bears so that I can have a whole army of bears in my room"

Well, that answers that.

A Visit to Katoomba

2010-07-08T12:59:00.008+10:00

Plans and Alternatives

The school holidays started last Monday so I decided to take the boys out by myself to give joey a "calm before the storm" break. The plan was to use the sunday family specials (for public transport) and take the kids to the Sydney Art Gallery.

Unfortunately, when we got to Seven Hills station we discovered that the trains were out, replaced by an untimetabled "bus-train-bus-train" system. If I'd thought about things for a bit, I could have saved us a whole lot of bother by catching a train in the opposite direction but I didn't - we just left.

I got in the car not knowing where to go but not wanting to return home to admit defeat. I started driving but all the one way streets and "no right turns" were shepherding me home. I did the only thing I could, I started picking random streets.

We drove for ages through the backstreets with the kids making all kinds of noise - most of which I couldn't hear over the ringing in my head (but that's a different post). Several times when I caught them spitting, being overly annoying to other drivers or dropping things out the window, I told the boys to wind their windows up. They usually only stayed up for 10 minutes maximum and the wind rushing In was quite cold. Still, while they were laughing, I guess they were having a good time.

We travelled through Blacktown, Doonside, Rooty Hill and then on to Richmond, I was going to have lunch there but there was no sign saying "Richmond Airbase" so we never found a good place to stop. I started seeing signs for Leura but it was a long way so we detoured via Penrith to get a good road. After that it was smooth driving to the Blue Mountains. Anyone who knows Sydney well (or even just a little) will tell you that we just zig-zagged all over the place adding at least an hour to our journey. That's the sort of confused driver I am.

Heading up to the Mountains
Along the way I stopped to get us all a drink and the boys saw some very fancy balloon things. Kaelan got a fish and Tristan got a frog. I won't say that the balloons actually quietened the rest of the trip but at least they kept the kids occupied until we reached our destination, Katoomba.

Tristan had been remarking on the blue mountains as we approached them but then I asked him if he could see them anymore. He looked around in surprise and I told him that we couldn't see them because we were "on them". Kaelan told me that he'd already figured that out. I think the fact that his reading is improving and we passed a lot of signs has something to do with it.

It took us a while to find somewhere to park but eventually we got a spot and stupidly, I put down for an hour on the meter (actually, that was all the change I had on me anyway). We walked down to the echo point lookout and I told Kaelan to have a look and see if he could identify any landmarks.

The was pretty excited when he found the three sisters.

My original plans for Katoomba were to have a look, the do the scenic railway or skyway and then go see if the Hydro Majestic was finished refurbishment yet. The boys changed all of that though because they wanted to go bushwalking.

It was an awesome and beautiful day. Not too cold, sunny and the blue mountains had more colour than I've seen for a long time - they're often fog shrouded. So I figured... ok... and we started walking.

Bushwalking

The bushwalking track winds around the mountains and doesn't seem to take the 1km plunge to the bottom (thankfully). The boys just kept on walking and walking. Eventually we got to the skyway and we got in line to wait but the boys were becoming impatient. I had a look at my watch and realised that we were already well over our allotted hour for car-parking, so we walked back without having done the skyway.

I was expecting a meltdown but I was surprised when I didn't get too many complaints.

By the time we got back to the car it was dusk but luckily we hadn't had any ticket inspector "visitors". The boys kept talking about how they wanted to go up there with the scouts. We might think about that. It could be fun.

Sydney Harbour Bridge Climb

2010-05-30T19:24:00.003+10:00

Last Friday, I did my Sydney Harbour Bridge Walk. I got it as a gift certificate from my parents for my 40th birthday and it was in danger of expiring.

No, I don't have a fear of heights, I just don't have a lot of spare time - or people to go with (it's certainly not Joey's "cup of tea"). Fortunately, my sister Maree went with me, something I'm really grateful for.

We had to report to the climb at about two-ish to fill out our forms and to receive all kinds of equipment and training. Being a typical aspie, I filled out the medical form "properly" and disclosed my high blood pressure and asthma (which actually doesn't bother me too much anymore). I also disclosed my deafness.

We all got breath tested before the climb. No alcoholics allowed up top. It wasn't a "blow" breath test, you just had to count to five. I joked to Maree that they could tell you were drunk if you left some numbers out.

After that we had to get changed into the suits. We were told to only wear a T shirt and underwear underneath them - and they were pretty thin fabric. It could get embarrassing if someone got a rip during the climb. I then got questioned by the people about my health before we could proceed further.

I have to make a point here about the size of the lockers. They were tiny and you'd have trouble fitting an older style mobile phone in them. I put my clothes in one and emptied out my bag of books, dvds etc into another before discovering that even empty my bag wouldn't crush down enough to fit - nor would my umbrella. I left them on top of the lockers.

We had to pass through several stages of processing to get and hang our various equipment, a jumper, hats, glasses lines, locker keys. The training was fun and a lot of attention was paid to our "balls" a bridge attachment device capable of supporting about 300kg. Our tour guide was constantly making jokes about "hanging by our balls", "not yanking our balls if we get them stuck" and "taking care of our balls". It was pretty funny though I wonder what any foreign tourists would think.

Then, the climb was on. It was cold at the start and Maree immediately put her jacket on. I thought I was being smart assuming that I'd get hotter as I climbed. I was right but it turned out that Maree made the best decision because those climbing suits were quite unflattering and the coats hid them well.

Our guide was really amazing and he covered a lot of historical ground I was unaware of. He pointed out exactly where the first fleet landed and described the rocks area under the bridge and how it was envisaged as a way of cleaning up Sydney's slums. He showed us old foundation lines (which I'd previously assumed were simply unusual bricks).

He explained the design and engineering background behind the bridge, the opera house and the city in general. It was clear that he loved his job. He told us stories of the bridge workers and compared our safety statistics with contemporary bridges in other countries - all the while making jokes about kiwi's the state of origin, aussie myths and, of course, balls.

The view too was spectacular and although it had been raining for most of the week, we had a sunny walk. We could see all the way to botany bay, the heads, and homebush in an amazing 360 degree panorama. Wow! At one point, a seaplane buzzed by close overhead.

Even better, since we had the last walk of the day, we were up there as dusk fell, the bats started flying and the city's lights started coming on.

When we got down, I think I left my brain up there because I dropped my locker keys down the clothes chute - and I still needed to get stuff out. I was probably quite a frustrating customer to the staff but they never ever deviated from their perfect smiles. I've never seen a better customer relations team.

I've been up a lot of structures from centrepoint tower (Sydney) to tower bridge (London) and the Eiffel Tower (Paris) but I've never been on a walk as good as this was.

Thanks mum and dad, I had a great time and thanks Maree, for coming with me. It's easily the most "must-do" walk of Sydney!

Introducing Chewie

2010-04-08T11:20:00.006+10:00

Well, I haven't been keeping up with this blog very well lately because our lives are so busy.

Chewie

Recently, we got a surprise visit from Uncle Ruel (Jose) with an unusual gift. A guinea pig.

Now Jose is an Ebay Queen. His whole house is amazingly and tastefully decorated with the result of his eBay exploits. So, anyway, he was picking up a new gate - apparently the result of another eBay buying spree, when he saw what looked like a rat. Despite his fear of rats, he went over for a closer look and discovered that it was a guinea pig. Of course the silly creature ran away from him into a piece of PVC tubing but didn't realise that if the tubing was picked up, it would slide right down into his hand.

So, anyway Jose offered the "pig" to the home owner who didn't want it, so he took it home. Unfortunately his three dogs, cat, several fish and two? birds didn't think there was room for any more pets and didn't make it welcome. So he brought it to us.

It's a cute thing and we're keeping Jose's name of Chewie (after Chewbacca from Star Wars, not because of what it does to grass).

Chewie seems to have settled in and is still friends with the dog and the kids. It makes cute noises and I think it's putting on weight.

Best of all, it's a pet that cleans up after itself....

Joanne had it sitting on her on our lounge and it laid a little crap. She admonished it and turned it around so it could see what it had done. Dutifully, so as to avoid any further cross words from Joey, it ate the turd. I had to rescue it because Joanne was laughing so hard it was in danger of falling off her.

Some Kiddie Quotes from February 2010

2010-03-01T09:55:00.001+11:00

Magical Mary

Looking over Kaelan's books from school is always an interesting experience. His religion book is doubly interesting. Not only does it have a large number of daleks exterminating people on the cover (mixed in with religious iconography) but the contents of the book are just as interesting;

In one activity, concentrating on the Virgin Mary, he was asked to write various "facts" about her. The last question said to write down something that you want to know about Mary.

Kaelan's answer: "Can she do magic?"

Tristan's Ears

We're going to get Tristan's ears checked as the conversations below could indicate a hearing issue - or a fascination with sea life.

Kaelan: [at dinner] What kind of meat is this mum?

Joanne: Veal.

Tristan: [eyes wide] Kaelan! We're eating Seal!

[Helping him with Spelling]

Gavin: This word is WHILE, W-H-I-L-E

Here is a sentence with While in it; "While you're doing your homework, I'm going to get a drink"

Can you think of another sentence?

Tristan: A While went for a swim in our pool

Newsflash: Tristan's Broken Arm

2010-02-23T17:30:00.003+11:00

I know that I still haven't caught up on the Christmas news on this blog but I have to jump forward for this incident because people keep asking me about it.

Last Thursday, Tristan was running at school and (we think) he tripped over his shoelace and fell. He broke (fractured) two of the bones in his wrist. Joanne picked him up and took him to hospital where he got plastered and put in a sling.

When it was all done, he looked at his arm and said to Joanne. "It looks just like a broken arm". Obviously he hadn't quite realised that it was a broken arm.

Although the break was in his wrist, he got plastered right up past the elbow. The idea behind this was to prevent him from moving his wrist.

He stayed home on Friday but when I got home , he was sitting around happily playing on the Wii. So much for giving his wrist a rest (sigh). It must run in the family.

Not to be outdone, Kaelan immediately arranged for a day off school the following Monday by starting the morning with a massive chunder (luckily not on the carpet).

Tristan went back to school on the Monday but neither boy made it to scouts. This morning, got a new cast. This time it's shorter.

Kaelan's comment on the situation was "I hope you can still write". (Kaelan hates writing). I assured him that since Tristan was right-handed and since it was his left hand which got broken, he'll be able to write. Kaelan immediately followed this up with "when I break my arm, I'm going to make sure that it's my writing arm."

The break comes at a bad time for Tristan since Scouts are going swimming next Monday - and since we have a big family camp coming up in the next couple of weeks. I'm sure he'll find something to do but I guess he won't be using the giant trampoline pillow at the park.

Christmas 2009 Roundup

2010-02-16T07:18:00.006+11:00

I haven't posted here since just before Christmas. It's not that nothing has been happening, we've just been too busy with our day-to-day lives. It's probably going to take a few posts to catch up - here's the first.

Christmas 2009

Christmas went well this year with Joanne's parents visiting us on Christmas Eve for a nibblies night. The kids thought that this was the best kind of food. It didn't interrupt play.

"Uncle Paul" got the kids a great pool toy, called a "wave rocker". Essentially, it's a two man see-saw boat which is capable of seriously lowering the pool's water levels with only a few minutes use. After our recent week of torrential rain, the pool is way too full for the filter to function properly. Joanne suggested that "we'll have to get the wave rocker out".

Christmas morning was a little rough because I awoke to find a rather angry Joanne. It took me a while to piece together the reason because at first she was too tired to be entirely coherent. A cup of Chai tea fixed that problem.

Our Christmas nights are always late because of all the preparations for Santa. This year was no exception. Jo also hasn't been sleeping well lately and it's now quite common for her to not go to bed until 2am. She was less than impressed then, when Kaelan woke her up just two hours later with cries of "Santa's been". Despite requests, he'd refused to return to bed and she'd had to stay up with him to prevent him from some impromptu unwrapping - and to stop him from waking everyone else up. Somehow she made it through the rest of a very busy day without collapsing. What a martyr!

Presents

We all got spoilt this Christmas but I'm not planning to ennumerate all the gifts, just a few highlights. Kaelan did indeed get the star wars AT-TE that he kept badgering Santa for. It wasn't lego though and for some reason, the back legs tend to fall off. We were worried that it would have to go back to the shop but he seems ok about the legs - even going so far as to postulate theories about why the back legs fall off first.

The shortest lived present was a star wars watch with remote controlled R2D2. It lasted only about 10 minutes. At first I thought it was a battery issue but it turned out to have burned it's motor out. We can't find the reciept for it, so that's been a bit of a waste.

Tristan got a cool plasma ball which he had "on" in his bedroom every night until last Sunday when it got broken. He also got a "fur real" panda with a little drinking bottle. For the next few nights, particularly when the battery was new, all you'd hear is the panda bear sighing when he went upstairs to bed.

I got a PS/2 for downstairs which means that I can play any of the kid's hundreds of games (provided that I can wrest control of the TV off Joanne).

Joanne got a silver pandora bracelet - and got charms from other people. She also got charms from the boys on her birthday about 11 days later.

The DS

Santa also brought the boys a DS game each. This was quite confusing because they didn't actually have DS consoles. We wrote it off as Santa probably being so confused (maybe too many beers or spiked nutmeg drinks) that he forgot what he was supposed to be delivering. The kids went upstairs to play with their toys and we had a few moments of frantic parental activity. Somehow, we managed to put things to rights though.

I asked Tristan to show me how the "fur real" panda worked and I sat messily on his bed (bumping the mattress almost all the way off when I sat down). He didn't notice the presents hiding underneath. In fact, he didn't even notice when his fur-real panda dropped his bottle and he had to pick it up off the top of the present. He handed the bottle back, then said, "heeyyy. what's those presents doing under there?"

Tristan might not have known what the score was but Kaelan raced out of the room and into his. They were pretty excited about the DS'es. Tristan likes the "sending messages to eachother" functions but doesn't really like the games - he hates to lose. Of course, with the interference of some other games (next post I'll talk about them), the DS's have been collecting dust recently.

Lunch

My parents and Maree and her family came over for a Christmas lunch. It must have been a good day because I don't remember much from it at all. It was good to all be together for once and the kids had a great time in the pool. There was a little rain but not enough to spoil our day.

Merry Christmas 2009

2009-12-24T08:07:00.002+11:00

It's Christmas eve today and it's that quiet time before it gets really busy - so this is probably my last chance to wish friends and family the Merriest of Merry Christmasses..

Christmas is a time for friends and family to be together and to put aside our petty differences and celebrate our togetherness. I'd like to thank everyone for their support throughout the year, whether it was advice, child-minding, amusement, gifts or just the fact that you let us into your lives. I hope you understand how much it means to us.

Thank you.

The November to Mid December 2009 Update

2009-12-23T07:13:00.005+11:00

It's been super-busy in the Bollard household lately. Work is ramping up with all the activities (Systems upgrades) which can't be done while the main business activities are active. There's a lot of early morning, late afternoon and unpaid weekend work going on.

At home, we've been busy getting ready for Christmas and I don't just mean writing cards and the newsletter (the public version is here) and wrapping presents. No, this year Christmas is at our house, so there's a lot of cleaning and fixing to do. With the overtime at work and the preparations at home, I'm getting by on about 4 hours sleep per night (so if this post makes no sense, you'll have to excuse me).

Neighbourhood "Watch"

Also at home we've been painting the fence and putting up screening for the pool (mainly to hide the stupid smiling faces of our elderly neighbours who have nothing better to do than call council to complain about us. (does it show that we're all a bit stressed this year?).

We also had a complaint from the sticky-beak neighbours who live behind us about loss of privacy. I don't know why they think that their privacy is compromised since we have no interest in them - but they watch us like hawks.

A while back, Joanne bought some giant blue pots (for Tristan to destroy - he hasn't yet but I'm sure he'll get to them real soon). I didn't even know about the pots but our neighbours were watching out the window and their kid was overheard loudly proclaiming the message between parents, "dad, they just got two big blue pots!".

If that isn't bad enough, they have a trampoline up against the fence, (which we don't mind - our kids have a trampoline too). In their case though, the parents like to jump so they can have a good perve while they're at it.

Luckily we still have some very nice neighbours on the remaining side and across the street.

Tristan's Activities

Tristan hasn't exactly been in the good books lately due to two main transgressions;

1. When he decided to wash a pen in the bathroom sink and play with the ink as it ran out. When he'd finished playing, he wiped the excess ink on the carpet.

2. He decided to use the dettol to give our angel statue a medicinal bath while it was on the bathroom benchtop. Most of the dettol evapourated but quite a lot ran under the statue for an extended period and stained the benchtop the same shape as the base of the statue.

After a lot of effort, Joanne managed to get most of the stain out of the carpet but the benchtop stain has resisted all efforts and seems to be permanent.

He's now offsite at my parent's house until Christmas eve - as much for his own safety as for our sanity.

Kaelan

Aside from the usual fighting with Tristan and constantly teasing him, Kaelan has been pretty good lately. In part, this has a bit to do with a Star Wars computer game that I found for $10. He's been playing it constantly - if I'd realised it would be so popular, I'd have suggested it for Santa instead.

Winding up Scouts for the Year

Our scouting life has finished for the year and boy are we tired. One of the other reasons why there's no blog post for November is that both Joanne and I went on separate camps, one weekend after another. She and Tristan went to a pirate themed District Joey Mob Camp (at Bundilla) for one weekend, then Kaelan and I went to the District Cub Scout Camp (at Lower Portland) for the next. Both camps were successful and we had a lot of fun but came home super-tired.

Kaelan made some waves on the camp by tossing a urinal cake into the girls tent and Tristan apparently made his mark by becoming the camp alarm clock - whether they wanted to be woken up at 5am or not.

While Joanne and Tristan were away, I took Kaelan into town and we went to Luna Park. The rides were $10 each, which was a bit steep but there were day-passes for $40 each, so I got one for him and one for me. We managed to have quite a few rides before he got a bit bored with it all (who gets bored at an amusement park?). He was also a bit scared to go on some of the more exciting rides.

In fact, Kaelan got so scared on his first ride, the Ferris wheel, that he started trying to climb under his seat while the ride was in motion. I tried cadging him back but when he wouldn't stop, I ended up being authoritive - it worked and he was actually starting to enjoy it just before the ride stopped.

Also in scouts, we had a very successful (attempt No. 2) of the Observatory, and had a lot of fun. We got to see Jupiter and it's two moons. At least, I think it was Jupiter... it might have just been a couple of specks on the lens. We also had our scout Christmas bbq, so now, it's all over until next year.

Finding the Camera
I'm beginning to regret having upgraded to a smaller camera because although it's a good device, it keeps getting lost - like, for weeks. The Camera was missing for most of November after having been found briefly at the end of September. Fortunately, we had the old camera and of course the Blackberry takes (blurry) photos, like the one below;

The miniature steam trains at West Ryde which Tristan refused to go on by himself at Julian's birthday party. That's right... I had to go with him... it was actually fun.

A Quick Break
Joanne and I took at quick holiday to the Entrance while my parents minded the kids (thanks mum and dad!!). It was obvious that we desperately needed a break because we arrived there in mid-afternoon and both promptly fell asleep. We lost most of the first day to sleep too. Of course, it's not a proper holiday unless we have to do an emergency doctor's visit and we managed to squeeze that in on our third and final day. I'd been attempting to home-treat a pesky wart that appeared on my hand and it got infected, badly infected. I couldn't pick anything up.

Fun in the City

Kaelan and I took a trip into town last weekend to handle a power outage at work. Tristan wasn't allowed to go since that was the weekend that his "handywork" was discovered. We had a great day and did lots of things, not all of them necessarily permissible (like climbing on the Opera House - and climbing on some of our other landmarks and statues).

Kaelan giving the famous Australia Square Newspaper Man a nose tweak (from inside his bronze newspaper).

Time for another Christmas Elf Video starring our family...

2009-11-11T16:17:00.002+11:00

Yeah, I know it's a little early for Christmas but I thought I'd try to be prepared.

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

A Great Tristan-ism

2009-10-24T19:19:00.000+11:00

We spent quite a few hours today in the pool. It's the first weekend where it's really been warm enough to swim. The boys had a great time and I got a great quote out of Tristan.

[Talking about having water in his ears]

My ears are still blind.

Scaring the living daylights out of the children

2009-10-20T23:09:00.004+11:00

It's not quite Halloween yet (and anyway we don't celebrate it in Australia) but this is a rather cool story for the season.

Yesterday, Tristan lost his first tooth. It's weird because I seem to remember Kaelan having lost a lot of teeth before he even started school and Tristan is just losing his first one as the school year draws to a close.

He was pretty excited about it having fallen out and about the tooth fairy. Of course, he managed to lose the tooth before bedtime. It was scout night, (Tristan had been inducted as a Joey) and he and Joanne had gone home. Kaelan and I arrived home later after Cubs.

Tristan was already asleep by the time we got home but Kaelan was all set to wake him up and wait for the fairy. I could see that if I didn't intervene, it was going to be a long night.

Kaelan was saying to me "hey dad, do you want to catch the fairy?", as he was running into Tristan's room. I said to him very seriously, "I don't think you want to do that". He noted my serious tone and looked at me, "why not?". I told him that it might not be safe to disturb the fairy at its work. He looked at me strangely, "are fairies bad?", he said.

"Well", I replied," let's think about what fairies do". I reminded him that they only come in the darkness at night. I reminded him that they like to collect teeth which are something like bones. I asked him if he knew what the fairies did with the teeth but he didn't seem to know. I told him what all the stories say, that they make necklaces out of them.

Then I said to him, "What do you think?", and lowered my voice to my Edgar Allan Poe reading voice, "something that comes in the dark and collects things that are like bones from children... ...it wears teeth for a necklace and it doesn't like to be seen by people. Does that sound like a good thing or a bad thing to you?"

I could see him thinking about it for a few seconds and then I reminded him, "look, Mommy has left all of the windows open to invite it in. I don't think you standing in Tristan's room when it comes". (In reality, it was a very hot night and Joanne had opened the windows to let a breeze in).

His eyes widened...

He wasn't quite scared to go to bed. I didn't want him to be that scared but I could see that he was thinking about it now. Maybe that isn't such a bad thing, maybe he might take less for granted in future.

He seemed calm down when I told him that there was a truce and that the fairy would only take that which was left for it under the pillows or in a glass by the bed. Of course, I couldn't resist the temptation to remind him not to sleep with his head under the pillow as he went upstairs to bed.

Third Term Holidays 2009 Update

2009-10-17T08:29:00.002+11:00

Well, the third term school holidays have just ended and the boys are back to school until December. There are sighs of relief all round.

Smurf

Tristan, or "smurf" as he's sometimes referred to now, was responsible for the biggest mess of the holidays. He got hungry one morning and decided to sample the blue food coloring. Not liking the taste, he spat it out and then dropped the bottle - on our NEW kitchen tiles.

Being a quick thinker, he grabbed the bottle and put the lid on it, then washed his hands at the sink, went upstairs and washed them again at the bathroom and finally went and hid in his bedroom. How do we know this.. the teltale signs of blue around the taps. Luckily although his feet were blue, it didn't come off on the carpet.

The sinks were easy but getting the blue off the floor took a lot of bleach.

Computing

The boys have always been a bit into computers although they're not generally interested enough to let me teach them anything. Lately though, Kaelan has been teaching himself to use Google Chat and his messages are popping up at work, on Nanny and Pa's computer and on the computer downstairs. He's now moving onto bigger things, like email to extend his reach.

Yesterday, I discovered that he was checking out his favourite sites on the computer downstairs and was writing the URLs down to use upstairs. Pretty impressive since he hasn't been taught about such things.

Blood Pressure

I was feeling pretty bad over the last few weeks - and not just because the boys were at home doing interesting damage - It turns out that my previous readings of high blood pressure weren't one-off. It looks like I now have a permanent problem. After a few false starts and some nasty side-effects, I'm now on a medication that works. Hopefully, things will calm down from here.

Pool and Yard

The pool has become a really high maintenance problem at the moment because we've got limited grass (and we've been pulling that up so we can level the ground a bit). We've been having some very high winds which result in the topsoil, grass cuttings, leaves and even clothes being dried blowing into the pool. We managed to have a couple of swims in it about a month ago but the weather has turned cold again.

In fact, the pool is getting so dirty that cleaning it once per week still isn't sufficient. The filter is also getting so clogged that I need to empty it as soon as I come home - since nobody else seems to notice the "funny noises" that the filter makes when there's no water getting through (sigh). Anyway, since the filter is so deep, I have to roll my sleeves right up before putting my arm in the cold water.

So, picture this, I'm reaching for the filter and my sleeve starts to fall down. I reach for it and grab it but then my tie starts heading for the water. I use my elbow to push it back (can't use the other hand which is in the water grabbing the filter basket - when suddenly plop... yep, it's the blackberry going for a swim. (and in salt water too). I managed to get the blackberry out quickly and removed the battery. I've let it dry in the sun for two days and it mostly seems to work - except that there's an interesting 3D water feature permanently on the screen.

Visits

The kids have each spent a few days with Nanny and Pa this holidays and got to go to the reptile park, a fish place and out in the boat fishing. They had a great time. Kaelan learned how to use the phone when he was up there and because he was told that he could use the phone to call mum whenever he wanted, he took it literally - and called her as soon as he woke up one morning. Jo was not impressed.

A Super-Dusty Day

2009-09-23T09:12:00.002+10:00

I woke up this morning to a red day. Literally, Red. I though we might have had a bushfire sunrise but it turned out to be dust from strong winds inland in South Australia and NSW. You can read the report and see lots more pictures on the Sydney Morning Herald Article.

The kids aren't going to school today because Joanne has asthma concerns for them. I took a few pictures on the way to work today, they're on my facebook page but I guess my father-in-law got the best picture from his workplace this morning.

The Sydney Opera House at 6am this morning. (Used without permission from my father-in-law. I hope he won't mind).

Swimming

The weather has warmed up a bit and we've had two weekends in a row where temperatures were in excess of 30 degrees Celsius. We've managed to use the pool - well, Kaelan and I have anyway. Tristan still claims that it's too cold.

Another Badge

Kaelan got a new badge at Scouts last week. Cooking: Level 2. It's the first level 2 badge that he's achieved. He managed to lose the badge before we left the scout hall though. (sigh).

Birthdays

The kids have both had their birthdays, with Kaelan turning 9 and Tristan turning 6. They got pool toys and lego. We also took a few of their friends out to see Up in 3D. It was a good film.

Another Quick Update and Another Video

2009-09-10T07:55:00.002+10:00

A lot has been happening but I'm still so run off my feet that I can't write about it.

Tristan turned six last weekend and Kaelan will be turning nine on Sunday. We had a nice father's day picnic at crosslands last weekend but I can't show you any pictures since we can't find the camera. (It will turn up when it's ready).

Codes and Signals.

Driving back from a scout activity, we discovered that our cub master was following us. The kids were very excited and were waving etc.. Then I realised that Kaelan was making hand signals at him. I told him off saying that it's rude to make hand signals but he said "it's ok Dad, I was giving him the scout sign". He wasn't flipping the bird, he was flipping the three fingered salute.

Father's Day Book Reading

Last week I did the father's day book reading at the school. This year, the books were a bit sad - and it was difficult to do with two kids to look after. I read Tristan's book first and all the kids (except Tristan) were interested. Then I went to Kaelan's class and read a book about an Aboriginal father. About halfway through the book, Kaelan yelled out, "Do it in Cartman's voice dad!". I do a passable impression of Eric Cartman but I wasn't going to do it at the school. I told him that I couldn't do it because it was an Aboriginal story. Luckily he didn't suggest I try an aboriginal accent.

Another JibJab Video

I know how much my family enjoys these Jib Jab videos, so here's another one;

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

I was tempted to darken the kids faces but I thought it might not be politically correct.

Kiddie Quotes: Celine Dion

2009-08-04T15:22:00.002+10:00

Last weekend, Celine Dion's "My Heart will go on" was playing and Tristan came up to me saying; "Daddy, I know where that music comes from".

I waited expecting him to tell me about the boat sinking etc... but he surprised me.

"That's Coles music".

"They play that when we're doing our shopping".

Kiddie Quotes: Nuns

2009-08-02T10:25:00.001+10:00

We recently watched the 1956 French classic "the red balloon", which the kids loved. At one point, the balloon floated over near a group of nuns. Kaelan said excitedly, "I know what they are, they're Mary MacKillops!"

Pool Update

2009-07-27T16:35:00.009+10:00

It just occurred to me that although I've talked about the pool and I've posted a pic of the hole in the ground, I haven't actually posted a picture of the finished product here...

Well, here it is...

We're still struggling with post-installation council approval because the guys we were supposed to be using for certification were idiots. Luckily the Council stepped in and took over the job.

Some pictures of the Installation...

The pool arrives on a truck.

Lifting the pool around the wires. You really have to admire the navigational skill of these guys. They got the pool around two sets of wires and a gum tree without any issues. In the background, you might be able to see the crane's front wheels completely off the ground.

Floating the pool between the houses and into the backyard.

Settling the pool into the hole...

and finally, filling the pool up with water under the watchful eyes of Panda who thinks that it's a giant drinking bowl just for her.

I didn't bother with pictures of getting the concreting and pebblecreting done. I think that part's probably pretty obvious and not quite so awe inspiring.

Birthday Season

2009-07-27T07:34:00.003+10:00

Well, it's the start of the Birthday season, we have more birthdays in July and September than in any other part of the year. This year, mine was a biggie... I've hit 40. For my birthday, I got a Nintendo Wii which I've had a bit of fun playing (when I can get the kids off it). The timing was good too - right in the middle of the school holidays.

Tick Camp

There hasn't been a lot of other activity going on these holidays but it's probably worth mentioning the cubs camp we did close to the end of last term.

The place we went was Ingleside and unfortunately it rained for a lot of the time. Even worse, we later discovered that the place was full of ticks and leeches. Still, the kids seemed to have a good time.

Kaelan all ready for the Obstacle Course.

House Update

The pool is more or less finished now. It's got a fence and a pebble-crete surround - and it looks great. It's way too cold to swim in though and my hand goes numb every time I put it in to empty the filter box.

We've still got a bit of Gardening to do and then it will all be finished out the back - then we have to start saving for a driveway.

The builders have been busy too. They've ripped and replaced Kaelan's window (for which they put the house-frame in upside down. They've also gyprocked the feature ceiling just inside the door.

Another Jib Jab Animation - Jowls.

2009-07-15T23:25:00.001+10:00

This was too cute not to share...

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

Kiddie Quotes: Homework

2009-07-03T09:19:00.000+10:00

It's rare that I'm around when Kaelan is doing his homework but it happened yesterday. I watched him doing a comprehension and Joanne was asking him to give proper answers in the form of sentences.

For instance, the question was;

What did the children do to the clown?

His original answer was; they put a bucket on his head.

The corrected answer was The children put a bucket on the clown's head.

The comprehension continued and Kaelan started giving better answers without needing to be corrected.

Then we came to the question about the owl.

Jesse was scared of the owl. Apart from sitting on it's perch what did the owl do?

Kaelan's reply;

When the owl jumped off its perch and flew at Jessie it scared the shit out of her.

-facepalm-

Not the best start to the workday

2009-06-23T13:05:00.000+10:00

Today started off as a more or less normal Tuesday. I got up at 5.30, got ready and got on the bus.

I had noticed that I was a bit stiff and sore but I only started paying the pain any attention once I was on the bus.

The pain was a bit intense and it was in my chest, slightly to the left. I started to wonder if, instead of simply "sleeping funny", I'd perhaps had a heart issue.

The pain was still there when I got to work, so I decided to go see a doctor when the surgery opened. My description of the problem had scarcely left my mouth when I was whisked away to another room and an ambulance was phoned for.

They gave me something to "open the blood vessels around the heart" and the pain started to disappear immediately. They told me that I'd probably have a headache - and they were not wrong. I have a massive one now.

In any case they whisked me off to St. Vincent's Hospital, Sydney (where I am now).

I've given blood a few times (and been told that I'm "not exactly generous with my veins". I've also had an X-Ray and some cardiographs done. So far everything is normal.

If my last blood test comes back ok, they're going to do a "stress test" involving a treadmill - it stresses me just to think of treadmills and "exercise". If the stress test is normal, then apparently I'm free to go.

That'll be good 'cos at the moment, I'm pretty hungry and have a lot of work to catch up on.

Some Tristan-isms

2009-06-05T12:54:00.003+10:00

Tristan has been settling down a bit lately and has been coming out with some pretty funny kiddie quotes...

Painting...

Last night, I had a scout meeting and Joanne was trying to find some other paperwork for me to take. She couldn't find it and time was ticking away. She came back to the table where we were eating dinner and said that it was a "pain in the arse".

Both boys burst into laughter and told her that she'd said a naughty word. We cautioned them not to use the word at school. After a few minutes in which Tristan still couldn't control his laughter he asked in a quiet voice... "mum, why would you want to paint your arse?"

Bullying

Tristan has been a bit resistant to going to school recently and Joanne was concerned. She asked him what was wrong, "are you being bullied". He looked at her sheepishly and nodded. She asked him if he knew who the bullies were. He nodded again. On further prompting he mentioned the name... Kaelan (his brother).

Jurassic Park

We recently watched Jurassic Park and I was a bit worried about how Tristan would handle all those scary dinosaurs - he seemed to be pretty much in on the action, judging from how he was jumping and ducking and weaving on the lounge.

We took a half-time break and I asked him how it was going. It's a bit scary he said, prompting me to talk about CGI and how it's not real (though his brother said most of it before I did). To help clarify things I told him that people have never ever seen dinosaurs. "We've only found bones because they all died before there were people".

After the requisite follow-up questions such as "before Nanny was a baby?", "before Jesus?" etc, I figured it had sunk in. I decided on a bit more education, so I asked if they knew how they died and Kaelan managed to answer correctly, though he used "space rock" instead of Asteroid.

Then I noticed that Tristan was crying and asked what's wrong. He said, "did they all die?", to which I replied yes. "Even the nice ones daddy?". He wasn't worried about Tyranosaurus but he was upset that the herbivores had died too.

Kaelan's First Holy Communion

2009-05-24T18:20:00.007+10:00

Today was Kaelan's First Holy Communion. Our day began pretty early with a quick tidy up of the house before going out to the shops to pick up some of the food platters we had ordered.

Getting Prepared

A little earlier in the week, Joanne had complained about not being able to find a tie for him to wear (since it was a pretty formal occasion). I had a look around town but although Myers has an entire floor dedicated to children's wear, only a small area of less than 20 square metres was allocated to boys wear. Furthermore, they only had three ties, two of which were pink.

I picked the best of a bad bunch a gold/black/white striped number and spent quite a while looking for a cashier that was attended. It was much harder than it seemed. In my travels, I compared the tie I was wearing with the one I intended to buy. They were the same length.

Eventually finding a cashier, I asked if the tie was a mens or boys one and enquired about the length. I was told that it was a boys tie but that all ties are the same length. (obviously boyswear only gets the ones that menswear can't sell - like the pink ones).

I didn't end up buying the tie and instead found one in "formal apparel" (with double the price tag). At least it was going to look better. I chose a thin one so that we could shorten it to the required length without it looking silly and wrap the remaining length around his waist under his shirt. I think it ended up looking good.

Arrival

Our church is always packed but on special days when lots of relatives are supposed to attend, it's impossible. Joanne and the boys had to leave early to get a car spot. I still had to get dressed after going to the shops, so I had to go separately. Luckily I made it in time.

Both boys were absoultely fantastic in the church. This particular visit marked the first time Tristan has ever remained on the Top-side of the seat without any visitations underneath. I was most impressed.

Naturally, the church still has to turn a profit and the plate went around twice. Unfortunately their timing seemed a bit off because there wasn't even ten minutes between the rounds and the crowd was full of comments about the economic solution, milking the communion cash-cow and "not again!". Actually, come to think of it, most of the comments seemed to come from our rows of seats.

The Ceremony

The new communion-ites were asked to stand up but weren't taken out the front to be shown off. When the time for communion came, they were mingled in with the parents. I thought it was a bit of a shame since all the kids were so nicely dressed and nobody got to see how good they looked.

Nobody was entirely sure how Kaelan ended up in a photo with a bunch of girls and Father Mick. I think there was a photo being set up and he just "wandered in". Needless to say, it made a nice picture.

When Kaelan's turn came, he excitedly went up with us and everything was going fine until he reached the front two rows - and saw his friend. He waved and said a few friendly words until Joanne bumped him. His turn had come and he was still a few metres from the front of the line. The lady giving communion (the priest had delegated his duties) shot a scowl in Kaelan's direction. I think it made him forget everything because he went up to her and opened his mouth and stuck his tongue out.

I don't know if he said "amen" or not but she dutifully stuck a wafer in his mouth. After all the training about how to hold his hands properly, he forgot to put his hands out at all. Joanne only just managed to recover her composure in time for her serving.

A nice family photo, Me, Kaelan, Tristan and Joanne.

Photos and Party

After Communion, we took a bunch of photos - most of which ended up with my mouth hanging open in funny poses. That's what happens when you're talking out the side of your mouth during a photo. We all had a huge laugh over those photos, they were pretty embarrassing but eventually we got a decent photo.

Kaelan gets a photo with his God-Parents, Jose and Julianne.

Our family and Kaelan's godparents came back to our house to celebrate and everything went well. After days of downpour, the rain had stopped although the new pool is so overflowing that I'm not sure if the filter is still working effectively - and there's mud everywhere around the house.

An admittedly slightly doctored photo of Kaelan with Grandma and Grandad. Joanne said that it was "a pity about the car in the background" (our car, not theirs), so I fixed it.

Kaelan gets in a pose with Nanny and Pa.

There was certainly enough food to go around. We had leftovers for dinner... and I guess we'll be having leftovers again tomorrow night...

The Early May 2009 Update

2009-05-13T06:24:00.007+10:00

It's weird but you go months without any news and then suddenly there's a deluge. Aside from the two deaths in the family that I've covered in two posts of their own there has been;

The Great Fish Massacre of 2009
Kaelan got a fish tank about seven months before we moved. We took so long to getting around to it that we decided to wait until we moved back into our new house.

We installed it earlier this month and got seven fish, two guppies and five neon tetras. The first guppy didn't even make six hours but the second did better with about 15. Then the Tetras started going. At least two fish were sucked into the filter and "strained" to death despite the fact that we turned it to a lower setting. Now the tank is empty again and Joanne has been talking about more victims. Personally, I'd rather drain the tank and put mice in it but she won't have a bar of it.

Blinds
I'm sure that there was a collective sigh of relief around the neighbourhood when our blinds finally arrived. Until then, there must have been some sights. We got two types of blinds.

The first type is a thick venetian which apparently doesn't have the same problems as the old venetians, though I'll decide whether to believe it or not in a few years time.

The other type is a simple roller blind, we got them for the entertainment area and kitchen where the blinds will be up and down all day long.

Kaelan's Confirmation
Last Monday was Kaelan's Confirmation. It was at night, after work so that meant that I had to rush home and stay in my work clothes. Tristan was pretty upset when I got home. Apparently he, Kaelan and his teddy bear had been jumping on the trampoline when the bear got an unexpected height surge and ended up in the tree above - quite high up too.

I took a long stick and climbed onto the trampoline and started jumping for the bear. It must have been a funny sight but it was really difficult trying not to rip my work clothes, not to lose my balance and fall off and hoping that the already torn mat would support my weight. After quite a number of goes, I eventually got the bear.

By this time, it was getting late and we had to go. We quickly got Kaelan dressed into neat clothes but couldn't find his shoes. After a lot of prompting, we eventually discovered that he'd used both unsucessfully as throwing objects in the quest to retrieve the bear. Both were now over the fence. We hurriedly found his tattered (and almost toeless after only 3 months) school shoes. Hopefully the priest wouldn't look down.

Then there were the vows. The priest is supposed to ask the kids to re-accept the vows their parents took on their behalf during baptism. These include such questions as "do you reject Satan and all his works?". The kids are supposed to respond with "I do". Kaelan was silent for the first vow, not knowing what to say (despite several weeks of preparation). Then, suddenly he remembered and loudly proclaimed his "I Do!" in the silence that followed everyone elses. Luckily all his others were on time but their loudness was such that even the priest cracked a smile.

The rest of the night seemed to go well. Joanne's sister Catherine was Kaelan's sponsor and his saint name was "Michael" which matched his school. Funnily enough my saint name of "Leo" matched mine too.

Catherine and Kaelan in the Church looking "excited".

Stairs
I learned the hard way last week about using our stairs while wearing socks. I've always been a person who needs to rush everywhere and I frequently run in situations where normal people wouldn't. Apparently, stairs are one of those places. I did some amazing Jackie Chan style acrobatics and managed to avoid killing myself on the tiles but it was a close one. I was very surprised to find that I could still walk the following morning.

Pool (Coming Soon)
We signed up for a pool, though somehow we went from a $38K 12 metre one down to a normal sized 8/9? metre and saved a lot of money. Of course, now Joanne is talking about putting a glass fence in. She's obviously forgotten how stony the ground is at the moment - and what lawnmowers do with stones.

Anyway, as I write this, the hole has been dug and we now have a tree stump which is almost the same height as myself littering the lawn. Somehow we're going to have to cut it up and move it. Sometime today, they're going to crane the pool over the house. I'll be at work and Joanne has an appointment, so I don't think anyone will be there to see it. (a pity because I'd love to get some pictures).

The Hole, all ready and waiting for the Pool

Lawnmower
Speaking of lawnmowers, our ground has been so bumpy and our grass has been so long (and so full of hidden building materials) that I've had to whipper-snip the whole lawn.

It proved a bit too much for old Mr. Whippy and it refused to run for more than a minute at a time. I was about to try and fix it when I realised that fuel had started pouring out the back of it. I decided to use the lawnmower after all.

The wheels broke off. Yep, that's right, I decided to use the lawnmower and got a little way around when the front wheels just fell off. I turned it off and turned it over to see if I could fix it and that was when I discovered that one blade had shorn off entirely and the other was about one quarter of it's original length.

I talked to Joanne about the problem and we agreed that the mower was probably dead but we didn't have the money for a new one and we had to have the grass cut in time for the pool. Eventually, I invented a kind of "wheelie mowing" style that only a half crippled mower can do. It wasn't pretty but it was effective.

Helen May - A Difficult Farewell

2009-05-10T19:57:00.005+10:00

It's hard to know where to start with Helen. Joanne and I first met her by chance almost twenty years ago when she and Annette had a room in May street, Hornsby available for rent.

Helen was always a great friend who managed to bring a lot of humour to every situation whether it was telling us stories about the giant room-invading crabs in Fiji or the "joke of the day" from work. Sometimes it was simply pointing out humour in our day to day activities that we overlooked in our rush-rush lives.

It was a sad day when developers decided to level the may street houses and for a while, it looked like we'd all go our separate ways. We did for a while but strangely enough, soon found ourselves in the same neighbourhood at Baulkham Hills.

Helen was a regular visitor to our home and was there for us when the going was good and bad. It was great having someone who could help sampling cocktails and her comments on the drinks, our television and our choice of movies held little back and were always a source of great humor. Joanne and I often called her our sister because that was the sort of relationship we had with her.

Our children grew up knowing that Helen was always around. She would come to our door and say "Hello You", in a loud voice and the kids would scurry around her with excitement. She baby-sat them often and their faces always lit up with joy when Auntie Helen was in charge.

We always knew about Helen's dreams and we kept on the lookout for a suitable partner but she resisted all of our attempts to play matchmaker. I guess she knew she could figure that part out for herself.

Helen would always disappear from our lives for a while if she met someone and so it came as no shock to us when the only one around who could answer our calls was her fish. Of course, we still saw her around a bit but usually only when we were driving and couldn't stop.

After a few months, we got the feeling that she'd moved and we figured that we knew where she'd moved to. We were happy to think that she'd finally achieved her dream. We'd still talk about her whenever we drove past her old street, which was often since she lived only a short way from us but we knew she'd call when she was settled.

We were shocked to receive a call from her partner telling us that an aneurysm had taken her from us. How tragic that having achieved her goal she wasn't able to live the dream for long.

Goodbye Helen. You were our second sister and your departure has left a hole in our hearts that will never be filled.

Me, Joanne and Helen on Holiday at Port Stephens

Sadly Missed: John Reynolds 2 May 1919 - 1 May 2009

2009-05-08T07:35:00.005+10:00

This month has been so busy that it's going to take a few posts. Unfortunately, two of them will probably be obituaries.

John Reynolds 2 May 1919-1 May 2009

John Reynolds was not only a great-uncle but also my Godfather. He was so full of fun and I was so proud to have him as my godfather than I'd bring it up whenever I saw him. I still remember him laughing, when I was little and I asked him if he was my Godfather like in that movie (as I pointed to a poster of a famous gangster movie).

Here's a photo of John with this mother and brother and sisters taken in 1936. He would have been aged 17.

The main story of John's life is an unusual one. He'd fallen in love with a girl called Moira Maloney (I'm not sure about the spelling) but for various reasons, it seemed like they would not be able to be together. At some point, I think the second world war intervened and she moved up to Queensland. John sent several letters, trying to get in touch with her but did not succeed. It later transpired that their parents conspired to keep those letters from them.

John married another girl, Beryl Campbell in 1948 and had a son called Ross. When Ross was still an infant, John discovered the truth about Moira and ran off to join her. He changed his name to avoid alimony and to avoid pursuit.

If this all sounds awful, then I guess that on a couple of levels it really is. Certainly it was unfair on his wife and his son - especially in that day and age. I won't dwell on that past because nothing can make that any better.

I guess that to a casual observer, this would make John seem heartless but in fact, he was following his heart and it was obviously how things were meant to be. I've always looked upon John and Moira's story as a sort of modern day Romeo and Juliet. It would have been a major scandal at the time but eventually they won everyone's hearts over.

Being very Catholic, John and Moy lived with the "sin" and although they both longed for marriage, they didn't pursue it outside of the church. For the same reason, they never had children. Eventually my mother got involved having heard about changes to the way the church handled divorce and made it possible for them to marry. By then it was too late for them to have children.

This is the last photo that I have of both John and Moy outside together. It was taken at Robina shopping centre and John is holding Tristan.

John and Moy dedicated themselves to the church, to children and to helping others and eventually retired to Queensland where Moira's family lived. Last year, after a long battle with alzheimers, Moira passed away. John was devastated. He told us after the funeral that although he'd moved into a retirement home with lots of facilities, he'd never actually wavered between his room, the dinner table and Moira's bedside. He said goodbye to us all then and it was clear that all he wanted was to be by Moira's side.

On the 1st May 2009, just one day shy of his 90th birthday and after a few strokes John and Moy were reunited.

Easter 2009 Update

2009-04-18T13:18:00.001+10:00

We've been pretty busy over the past few weeks with all kinds of things happening. Hopefully things will slow down soon.

The Housewarming Party
The party went off without a hitch except of course for the fact that it rained and left giant mud puddles around the house. Even the clean-up before and after went well because Joanne and I confined our activities to separate floors. There was one shouting incident when the kids came and mucked up my clean rooms and when putting back a toy, I cut my hand. Our neighbours let slip that the house now carries sound "extra-well", so I guess we'll have to be more careful in future.

Scout News
The start of school holidays and the end of term 1 of Scouts (cubs) was celebrated with a couple of rounds of mini-golf at Ryde. The course was amazingly clean and the kids had a lot of fun. I don't think the rules of golf were well observed particularly by the Joey mob whose golf balls never actually stopped moving between putts but it was all very amusing to watch.

Easter
We celebrated easter in the traditional "one day per family" manner, with Saturday being at my Sister's house at Windsor and Sunday being at home - with Joanne's sister visiting us. Easter morning started with an easter egg hunt and both the boys did really well (they only missed one egg - and they were better hidden than usual). Of course there was the usual fight about "he's got more eggs than me" but unusually, it was Tristan who had the most, not Kaelan. We were about to redress the balance for the sake of peace (Tristan had two more) when it suddenly transpired that Kaelan had actually eaten two during the hunt. Case dismissed.

Not a real post... just another video... Chippendales

2009-04-01T22:23:00.003+11:00

Ok, so this isn't a real post, it's just another of those JibJab Videos. This time it's for the Chippendales

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

Also, I've recently finished retouching all the non-professional photos from my Wedding (Joanne and I, on September 27, way back in 1997). It only took 12 years to scan and fix up the red eyes in the photos. If you're interested, they're here...

Joanne & Gavin's Wedding 1997

Asquith, Australia - September 27, 1997

Our Wedding Day - Scanned and Retouched Photos - but not the professional ones (yet).

View Album
Play slideshow

A Couple of JibJab Videos

2009-03-18T15:04:00.002+11:00

I was watching a rather cool video with the ten doctors in it which had been made with JibJab and I figured I'd give it a whirl myself. So, without further ado, here's a good St. Patrick's Day video I made starring Me, Joanne, Kaelan, Tristan and Panda.

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

and here's one that shows that Joanne and I can actually dance... well, digitally at least.

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

The Move and Resettlement

2009-03-15T14:21:00.007+11:00

Today is my last day of "holidays", if you can call them that. I've spent the last week and a half shifting boxes from one place to another, unpacking things and cutting down a jungle of grass. Here's how it went.

Preparation
We were lucky with this move because about half of our stuff was still in boxes in the garage from last time. We only had to pack up the things we were actually using. Of course, being thrifty, we tried to move a lot of stuff ourselves - but funnily enough, the moving costs were exactly the same as last time. We started moving more than a week before the actual move. We couldn't get into the house at the time because of the tilers and carpet people but we were able to at least move from garage to garage.

It was impossible to keep pace with shifting schedules and I ended up being unable to be on site on the day that the movers came. Luckily my parents were on hand to help out. I came home to a "moved house", except that half of the furniture ended up in the garage instead of in the house. Our double garage, which had seemed spacious when we inspected, was now too tight to move in. We certainly had our work cut out for ourselves.

Week One
We spent pretty much the entire of the first week just unpacking boxes and moving furniture into rooms. The kids were delighted with their new toy room and quickly covered every inch of the floor with sharp and crunchy toys. When the OH&S issues this presented were pointed out to them, Kaelan simply replied with "that's ok, we can just walk on the toys". This earned them both a bit of a rest from the toy room. Eventually, we got the big mother-cupboard from the garage, up the stairs and into the toy room (though not without a lot of help - and personal struggle - from Dad, who got stuck under the monster at the top of the steps. With the cupboard in the room, I was able to clean up the toys and the room has stayed fairly clean ever since.

The Toyroom in its "clean" state.

The other important thing was getting the bedrooms sorted out. There were lots of books to go in the kids bookcases and lots of clothes to be sorted and hung. In Tristan's case, there were also a lot of stuffed animals to line the windows and bookcase with. The boys rooms have stayed really clean because of our "no toys outside the toy-room" policy.

Tristan's Bedroom Neat, Tidy and Full of Stuffies.

The Kitchen
The kitchen was a bit of a mess until recently partially because we ended up having a lot more stuff than we remembered and partially because we had to wait for the appliances (oven, hotplates etc) before we could start filling some of the cupboards. Fortunately now, everything is installed and working.

We had a lot of trouble with the tiles because although the tilers we had were the same guys (and the same tiles) for the bathrooms, they weren't allowed in until the keys had been handed over. Clarendon had followed their earlier efforts with professional tile cleaners but in this case, they didn't want to know. Eventually the tiling company sent a representative out - who spent 45 minutes cleaning two tiles before deciding that it was all too hard. He got the actual contractors who laid our tiles to come in and clean them up. They weren't impressed.

The kitchen in near-final state.

The Backyard
As it turned out, we were fortunate in our choice of moving date because there was quite a bit of rain in the second week which turned our yard to sludge. The grass in our yard was variable ... non existent in a few places and waist high in others.

It took a massive effort almost an entire day, to level it using the whipper snipper. We couldn't use the lawnmower because we couldn't see what was in the grass. As it turned out, the grass was full of bricks, beer cans/bottles, scaffolding and other building materials. Now however, the grass is short, a lot of the rubbish has been removed and the swings and trampoline have found places away from the mud-holes.

I'm looking forward to going back to work so that I can relax for a while.

The House Hand-Over

2009-03-08T08:12:00.000+11:00

Moving Back
We are now back in our original location, in the new house. Sure, an awful lot of our stuff is still in boxes but at least we're there. I'll cover hand-over in this post, and do another on the actual move.

Hand-Over
I took the morning off for the final walkthrough of the house anticipating a technical session where we'd compare the plans to the real thing. Instead, the Clarendon guy simply walked from one room to another, naming it. He told us that we had three months to get a list of problems together and so we promptly signed the dotted line.

The idea was that handover would take place exactly one week from the meeting. Joanne tried pulling some strings to get it earlier but they didn't really want to come to the party.

In order for handover to be complete, the Council had to issue a certificate which the bank had to sight before providing the final cheque. The cheque would then be swapped for the keys. It all sounded so simple.

Having an exact handover date was good because then we could start planning. In particular, since Clarendon was happy to sell us the tiles but refused to let their own tilers into the place (other than in the bathrooms) until after hand over, we had to arrange for the tilers to come in and do their work immediately after handover. The carpet people were scheduled straight after the tilers.

When the handover day arrived and there was no movement from Clarendon, Joanne started to get worried. She rang them and was told that the council had not yet issued the certificate - and that she'd have to wait. Luckily Joanne seized the initiative and contacted the council. They told her that three certificates were outstanding from Clarendon and that without them, they couldn't issue theirs. A few frantic (and accusing) telephone calls later and Clarendon started issuing their certificates.

The next day, Council issued their certificate and our accountant took it to the bank. Then we had to wait for the cheque to be issued. It didn't come. By Friday, with the tilers scheduled for Saturday morning, Joanne was stressed to the max. She called the bank but was stuck on a 30 minute queue which meant that she would have missed picking the boys up from school were it not for one of our fantastic neigbours.

Finally getting through to a teller she was told that they couldn't touch the cheque because it was on a colleague's desk (who had apparently gone home for the day or was otherwise unavailable). A few heated conversations later, and a bit of assistance from our accountant, made them see reason.

Joanne went to the house and was met by the accountant and the Clarendon guy literally at 5.30pm on Friday. She was pretty stressed by that time because she had the tilers arriving Saturday morning.

The tilers arrived and managed to finish their job in record time, ready for the carpeting on the following Wednesday. By the following Friday, we were starting to move stuff in.

Early February 2009 Update

2009-02-21T17:35:00.002+11:00

The House
Well, it's finally happened... we got the keys.

The handover was an amazingly rushed job with Joanne having already made bookings for tilers and carpet-layers in advance. First the Council and Clarendon didn't see eye to eye, but a few frustrated (dare I say, threatening?) phone calls from Joanne soon put that to rights. Then our final bank cheque looked like being held up because the cashier who had been handling it went on leave and left it on her desk. Luckily though a few frustrated calls from Joanne saved the day once again. We got the keys at about 5pm on Friday 20, February 2009... less than 15 hours before the tilers were due to arrive.

One frustrating thing we discovered about building a house is that none of the appliances are handed over until you actually get the house. Then you have to make a booking. So now, we're the proud owners of a house with tiles in the bathrooms and toilets but nowhere else. No carpet, no oven or hotplates, heck... not even a hot water tank. We've got a garage with automated doors which haven't as yet got their motor.

Anyway, we started today off by moving a lot of not quite so valuable stuff into the house. You see, we're having tradespeople doing work and they tend to leave the house open. It might be possible for someone to sneak in and get a bag of non-valuable stuff, though what they'd do with a photo album, one of the kids toys or a pair of my jeans is anyone's guess.

The tilers told us that they were doing a three day job but I think they underestimated how easy Joanne's choice of king-kong sized tiles would be. They were almost finished by the time we stopped moving stuff at 5pm tonight and they told us that they planned to stay until 8pm to get the job done.

We managed to move a lot of stuff and there's heaps more to go but we won't be able to move anything else for a few days until the tiles dry.

The School
Both of the boys are settling in well at school with Kaelan being an amazing help with his little brother. He seems to be very proud that Tristan is at his school and walks him from the car to his class before he goes to his. The boys have separate play areas but they've been seeking eachother out at lunchtimes. The teachers will eventually put a stop to that, but it's cute behaviour nevertheless.

Kaelan had a great week this week, getting 100% in his spelling test which had difficult words like "sacrament" and "shouldn't" in it. Well done Kaelan - for a prize, he got Aayla Secura's Jedi Starfighter - a very nice prize indeed (I'll have to have a play with it myself when he goes to bed).

The boys also got another new toy today because when we were moving stuff, we found a Christmas present we'd lost. It was too difficult to hide until next year (so big, that I can't figure out how we lost it).

Tristan has been very good at school too and his writing is excellent. He's trying very hard and seems both academically bright and eager to learn. We met with his teacher who said that she's only got good things to report although he did get his name written on the board - apparently for rolling around on the floor with a girl. That's my boy!

Everthing Else
Work has been pretty intense, constant and stressful - in fact, it's all been so stressful of late that when I saw the doctor recently he freaked out about my blood pressure. He said "that can't possibly be right, we'll have to find another instrument". We found a replacement gauge and it gave the same result. I've been told to be careful. My cholesterol is also way up, though weirdly, my sugar levels aren't too bad. Well, they're at MAX but they're not OVER. I'd have thought my body was at least 20% sugar with the sorts of foods I'd been eating. Anyway, from now on, it's strictly heart foundation food... although I'll permit a few minor exceptions. The first days were the worst especially since I stopped drinking coffee at work. I had this awful headache and I couldn't concentrate at all. Things seem to have settled now though.

Joanne has been quite sick over the last couple of weeks as the city has been awash with the flu. I think it was the massive weather change, we had a few 40+ degrees (celcius) days in a row, followed by a bunch of 20 degrees days. Half of the people at work got sick - including me. I've just about shaken most of my symptoms but as usual, the thing worked it's way into Joanne's chest and she's been coughing constantly.

V8 Noises and Starting School

2009-01-29T12:44:00.004+11:00

V8 Mayhem
It's a sorry statement about the state of today's youth that they can't seem to tell the difference between a "cool engine" and a broken muffler.

We still haven't fixed the muffler on our car and it still sounds like a V8 but in the light of recent events, we might need to get a move on.

First there was a group of teens on the pavement who started miming to Joanne to put her foot down... and then last weekend, we got "dragged off" by a hotted up Torana.

Starting School
It was Tristan's first day of school today. He seemed pretty happy to be going. To stave off fright, the teachers take the children by the hand, two at a time, up to their classroom. A teacher tried to grab Tristan's hand but he shook her off and headed up to the classroom by himself saying "I know where to go".

We also saw Kaelan in his classroom but had to move away quickly because he kept waving to us.

The boys were excited to be going to school together.

Oh and one other "welcome to the school for new parents" thing. As we drove out of the packed car park, we saw a parking inspector, herself parked in a no standing spot, taking photos and writing tickets for cars parked incorrectly. How welcoming.

House Update
Well, there's not really much to tell. We've sorted out the carpet colour and we're waiting with baited breath for the 12th of February... I don't think that I'm all that excited, but I am getting tired of being in our current cramped quarters.

The First Half of January 2009

2009-01-22T07:48:00.005+11:00

Christian Montgomery
We were all stunned by the sudden death of Joanne's cousin, Christian Montgomery. Although we didn't see him often because we live in different countries, he was still on of Joanne's closest relatives.

I'm glad we managed to exchange a few words recently via Facebook. Our deepest sympathies lie with the family he leaves behind. Rest in peace, Christian.

Kids and Holidays
The holidays are almost over and to be honest, the kids have been fairly good. Sure, they fight and tease constantly when they're together but overall, it feels like they've been better behaved this set of holidays than usual.

Of course, a large part of that is that they had lots of distractions with Christmas and toys as well as being able to spend about two weeks apart - one week each with my parents.

During their respective weeks, the boys went from being a little afraid of the deep end to jumping in, swimming around and going underwater. No doubt that will all get reset to fear again during next winter.

Kaelan demonstrating that he isn't afraid to go underwater.

House Update
We're set for an inspection on about 12 February, not that we haven't been looking often enough by ourselves (they usually don't lock the site up all that well).

We'll probably get the keys about a week later. So we've started organising the carpets and power reconnection already.

All the walls, doors and skirtings are painted and the sinks, kitchen and toilets have been installed. The light fittings, powerpoints and switches are probably next.

The Entrance and Stairs

The Kid's Bathroom

Christmas 2008

2009-01-02T07:47:00.006+11:00

Just Before Christmas
On about 20 December, we went to a Wiggles Concert in the Sydney Entertainment Centre. Where we got to wake up Jeff. The concert was quite good and the boys enjoyed it. Kaelan was starting to get fidgety by about the 1 hour mark but Tristan got more involved as the show went on and started singing and dancing. There was a kid sitting directly behind us who had his earphones in and played on is portable playstation the whole time.

The Wiggles Concert in full swing, note Henry the Octopus and Wags the Dog on Stage.

Christmas Eve
I took the kids into work with me on Christmas Eve. They had a great time and lasted until about 10-ish before they started getting a little bored. I'd taken a portable DVD player in but it failed to hold their attention. My whiteboards did a lot better. Luckily our CEO told everyone that they could go home at lunchtime.

The kids in Martin Place, Sydney standing on top of the Matrix (girl in the red dress) Fountain with the Post Office, Christmas tree and my workplace behind them.

We didn't go straight home though and instead, we met up with "Uncle Ruel" (Kaelan's Godfather) and we went down to Circular Quay to see the big boat that was moored there. We also got some McDonalds to eat at the Quay.

There were a lot of birds about, particularly pidgeons and seagulls - but also some ibis (Serge-Birds) too. I threw a french fry and they squarked over it - Kaelan immediately jumped up scared. I kept feeding the birds and they got closer and closer. Eventually I had four sitting in my hand fighting for finger space. Kaelan calmed down after a bit and threw some chips at them but Tristan was already calm. He sat next to me and gave them a pat.

Disaster Strikes
After a tiring day on Christmas eve, the kids settled down to sleep fairly easily and I went outside to prepare for the night ahead. I filled the two beanbags for the kids up outside with three bags of beans each (that's how many it said to put in) and zipped them up. Luckily it wasn't windy outside. I left them there in case the kids wandered out again.

Around midnight, we started brining stuff in from the garage and that included the beanbags. I was busy doing stuff, so they were brought in by Joanne or Paul.

When I'd finished all my duties, Joanne told me to try a beanbag. I assumed that they were saying "try it... we've already had a go and it's comfortable...". I think that if I'd known that I was the first person to sit in it, I might have been a little more careful - but perhaps not. They were adult beanbags after all.

I sat in it and about half a second later there was a loud pop and it started snowing in the house. The Zipper had blown its tracks. We tried cleaning up but really you don't want to be trying to clean up thousands of little bean balls after midnight. In the end, we decided to blame Santa for all the fake snow.

Christmas Morning
The next day, everything went well and the kids were pretty excited though they slept in and we were all up waiting for them. After opening all their presents, it was time to head off to my sister's house for lunch.

The boys had a great time there and got water guns (which I've borne the full force of on more than a few occasions since) and a toy electric guitar (which is worse for Joanne than me - thanks to my deafness).

The next stop was Aunty Catherine's house for dinner. Things didn't go quite so well there because her budgie had chosen Christmas morning to fall off its perch. Try as we might, because of all the festivities, it was difficult to keep a straight face and our interjections "are we going to have a very small chicken for lunch?" and "keep your pecker up" really didn't go down well.

It didn't help us keep a straight face when Cath, complaining that her budgies kept dying told us that they were supposed to last 60-70 years. I looked it up on the blackberry - they're lucky if they make 10 years.

By the end of the day, poor Catherine had drunk perhaps a few too many consolitory beverages without eating anything and kept falling asleep mid-conversation and eventually we decided to skip dinner in favour of demolishing the gingerbread house.

Boxing Day
On Boxing day, we took my parents for a walk through our new house. It was good to see that the bathrooms are pretty much done (in terms of tiling) and that the kitchen now has the ceasarstone benchtop. Maybe one day we'll even be able to move in.

The Rest
From boxing day until New Years Eve, it was all just rest and Judge Judy (which is on in the middle of the day and I never get to see it when I'm at work).

We also went out and saw a lot of movies including; Twilight (much better than Bond), The Day the Earth Stood Still (Better than Twilight), Madagascar 2 (better than it had any right to be) and The Strange Case of Benjamin Button (quite good too - probably better than Twilight).

On New Years Eve, we had dinner at the Ettamoggah Pub at Rouse Hill and then watched the fireworks on TV. Sydney put on a very good show this year... one day I'll go back to the City to watch them again... I'm just not sure when I'll do it.

The kids passing a parked truck on one of our many walks to and from the local shops.

Merry Christmas 2008

2008-12-24T11:18:00.003+11:00

Thank you to all my regular readers, relatives friends etc for all of your support and friendship throughout the year. I hope your Christmas is a whole lot of fun and that 2009 brings you everything you could wish for.

Here's my Christmas Picture for 2008.

My 2008 newsletter can be acceessed here.

See you next year.

Christmas Parties and Stuff

2008-12-15T12:12:00.005+11:00

Once again, it's been a busy time for us trying to get all our Christmas preparations sorted in between the rain of work Christmas parties etc.

Work Presents
The work presents (Kris Krindle) went down quite well this year because we had a hired Santa who was something of a comedian. He was quite sprightly but in fact, it turned out that he was 81 years of age.

Anyway, I got a USB fan which is a "cool" present and very much in the right sort of vein for me. The present I bought (a grow-it-yourself Christmas Tree and some Santas which you can throw at windows) seemed to go down well too. I got an easier person to buy for this year.

In fact, I think pretty much everyone liked their presents this year.

Work Party 2008
I hate work parties and usually manage to avoid them but the annual Christmas party is an exception - it's pretty much unavoidable.

This year our party was in the same place as last year. It's about as picturesque and remote as you can get while still being in plain sight of the city buildings.

The first surprise was that our hired work bus was driven by none other than the cubs leader of our local scout group.

The location, near an ex-naval base is right on the water and is normally very pretty. This time however, we couldn't see much past our table with all the rain and the fog. The rain was close, really close. In fact, sitting there at the tables, we were protected only by a flimsy plastic roof and some plastic "shades". One of the people at our table actually put their umbrella up and leaned it on the wall to keep the rain off them. Two others were actually getting wet.

The food took forever to arrive and it was cold when it did - even the dessert, but at least that was supposed to be cold. I've got a bit of a problem with the way they name foods. In this case, the choice was either a Lemon Tart with lemon sorbet or an orgy of berries with a berry sorbet. Both desserts were served with a "glass biscuit". In any case, one of our people was having trouble deciding and I offered some helpful advice which just caused people to start laughing. "I know it's a difficult choice but just remember... with the right tart, you don't need an orgy". In any case, I went for the tart... I've got a bit of a thing for lemon.

Anyway, the service was so bad that we didn't get the mains until 4.30 and we weren't finished our coffees before 5.30pm when we called for Taxis. When the taxis still hadn't arrived by 6.30pm, one of our staff members passed out. I'd like to say that it was the waiting that did it but I think it was a bit of a learning experience about taking flu medications with alcohol. I later discovered that the taxi's had been commandeered by other patrons of the resturant who got their orders served faster.

Eventually, a bus arrived and we got back to work. I caught my normal bus (albeit somewhat later than usual) home. Funnily enough, the bus was covered in Christmas decorations and lights - on the inside!

These photos are blurry because I took them in poor light on a moving bus with the 1 megapixel camera in the blackberry.

Bits and Bobs
On Saturday, we went to the "wave pool" at Parkleigh. The boys had a good time until Kaelan tried to save Tristan from drowning by holding him around the neck.

Paul minded the boys on Saturday night and Joey and I went out together for the first time since our anniversary (September). We had dinner at a Thai resturant which was going well until Joanne said that it was like something which had made her sick a couple of days earlier. For some reason, that put a bit of a damper on the meal.

We went and saw a movie after the meal. If anything, it made me feel worse. It was James Bond Quantum of Solace. Which, despite the title, has nothing to do with window tinting... Anyway; It was either that or Twilight and while I'd have preferred the latter, I'm in the middle of the book and didn't want it spoilt.

There was some great action in the movie but ultimately it was a yawnfest full of characters that you didn't really care about. If only Pierce Brosnan was there... I'm sure he could bring a bit of soul to the film.

On Sunday, we went to Max's 5th birthday party (our neighbour where we are building the new house). The party was actually at McDonalds. The highlight of the party, for me at least, was this kid who was wearing a T-shirt that said "I'm loud...love me". It was brilliant. The kid was actually louder than Kaelan.

House Update
On late Sunday, I drove past the house on Sunday at about 6pm and on a whim, decided to check the doors. The sliding door to the laundry was unlocked, so we went inside.

We took a lot of pictures and videoed upstairs and downstairs. The kitchen and vanities are in but the bath and tiling, skirting, painting and power outlets are still outstanding. I've not had a great deal of success converting things for youtube yet (they all run too fast) but I'll see what I can do and post the videos later if I can.

The New Kitchen

Upstairs

Shopping Trolleys
After that, I took the kids to the park where some kind people had left shopping trolleys. We started playing "Jackass" with them and (amazingly) nobody got hurt. The kids had a great time and will probably resist a bit next time I take them to a park without shopping trolleys. We walked home from there and "Uncle Paul" cooked dinner on the barbeque. It was a good day.

Getting Ready for Christmas

2008-12-08T07:22:00.005+11:00

The last couple of weeks have all been a blur. There's just so much happening.

The Lighting of the Christmas Tree
In the last days of November, I took the kids in to watch the lighting of the Martin Place Christmas Tree. This has become something of an annual event for our family. The boys were extremely well behaved under some very trying circumstances. The bus got there 45 minutes late and it was almost impossible to find anywhere to sit. We ended up not being able to see the stage but we were, at least, right in front of one of the giant screens. After the event, we went upstairs at my workplace and had a look at the newly lit tree from above.

It was just as well that I did go to work too because I hadn't been in that day and there was no tape in the unit for our nightly backup.

Tristan
Tristan has been the star of the last few weeks, he's recently graduated from preschool and aside from disliking the hat(it was difficult to keep it on his head just for the photos), all went well.

The kids did a little concert for the parents but Tristan just stood up the back and didn't try to sing. He only made the most minimalist movements during the hokey pokey but we we just glad that he did anything. After all,
last year was the first year that he'd stayed up the front.

Last Sunday, the preschool had their Christmas Party and we were all shocked to see Tristan singing his heart out. Wow! What an amazing change in the space of a week. Top marks for effort.

Also at the pre-school Christmas party, Joanne did a bit of baby-catching when a father with his baby on his shoulders walked under a tinsel rope and forgot that he had a child up there. The tinsel caught around the poor baby's neck and he started heading (head first) for the pavement. Good catch Joey.

A Doctored Photo
One thing that I often do with the kids is a bit of "photoshopping" (well, actually Corel Photo-Paint). I've gotten quite good at doing Christmas themes. Anyway, in this case, I got a photo of Tristan and two of his mates from graduation and made a few alterations. Note that there were absolutely NO Christmas bits in the original photo - everything is new.

Uncle Paul
We have Joanne's brother Paul and his dog Chops staying with us at the moment and the kids seem to be really enjoying having him around and at the same time, Paul is learning what life with kids is like. I think we might be unintentionally convincing him that it's better to be single.

Christmas Preparations
We've been pretty busy with Christmas preparations over the last couple of weeks but now I can safely say that the kids presents are all finalised, wrapped and in sacks (well, garbage bags) and that most of the adult presents are at least bought.

The kids and I put the Christmas Tree up right at the end of November (so it might mean that we get some bad luck?) anyway, at least it's good to be prepared. It's a pity that all their Christmas DVDs and Christmas books are still in boxes. I bought them the Denis the Menace Christmas Special on DVD and a book & CD of Aussie Christmas Carols to compensate. We'll at least be able to play christmas music from the computer, though I might burn it to CD.

Kaelan and the Pool Party
Kaelan got invited to a pool party for a school friend over the weekend. Joanne decided to stay because Kaelan isn't the best swimmer, but most of the other mothers simply dropped off their under 10 year old kids and left. As it turned out, it was lucky that Joanne stayed because the pool was unfenced and supervision was minimal. That's to say that it was supervised all the time by a father who was also looking after a little toddler.

Anyway, Joanne gave Kaelan some swimmers and told him to get changed. He came out a few minutes later holding his tackle (it was a girl's party after all) and waving the swimmers in the air saying that they weren't his - they were daddys. I'm glad I wasn't there. Luckily Joanne had his swimmers in the bag too.

So... a little later, Kaelan wasn't getting into the pool but was filling up his water pistol at the water's edge and shooting people. One of his classmates came up behind him and gave him a big shove into the deep end. He screamed but managed to dog-paddle his way to the edge. I guess that the swimming lessons paid off after all, though whether we'll be able to get him into a pool again is another thing.

Paving
We got the area outside the side door of our investment property paved with grey-ish looking pavers and it looks so much better. We had a BBQ out there on the weekend and it was great. It's sheltered from the western sun which means that it's going to keep cool in summer.

We were sitting there when this hornet

- yes, a hornet in Australia. I didn't think we had them. There's a couple of wasps nests out the front so I know what they look like. This mother was more than double the size - anyway, I digress...

- this hornet swooped down from nowhere and pounced on a rather large huntsman spider. It then dragged the thing, still kicking and struggling all the way across the pavers, up the fence and down the other side. Wow!
Now that's what I call an entertainment area.

Kiddie Quotes for November 2008

2008-12-03T09:17:00.003+11:00

I was just reviewing things for the year when I remembered a couple of "kiddie quotes" that I'd forgotten to add.

I Am Legend
[While watching "I am Legend" scenes where the city is empty]

Kaelan: [Excitedly] That would be so cool because I could go into the shops and get all the lego.

Thistles
[Showing Tristan a Thistle seed (In Australia, we often call them Santa Claus' beard) because they come out in Summer around Christmas time.]

Gavin: These are mini cameras. They float around and report back to Santa and that's how he knows if you're good or bad... You never know where they'll float and it's just filmed you being a little naughty for Santa.

Tristan: This one's not going back [Crushes flower]

Scout Camp - November 2008

2008-11-26T08:04:00.010+11:00

Last Weekend was the annual 1st Balcombe Heights Scout Group family camp at Del Rio Resort Weebs Creek (near Wiseman's Ferry). Unlike last year however, we got there early so that we could set up our tents in daylight and without having to hurry.

We were the second people there (after the troop leader) but it still took ages to set up our tent - mainly because Joanne insists on having a little city.

The car and our three tents... our little city.

The First Night
This time we were very well prepared and had bought a new (stronger lantern) - Last year's one fell off the table and died on the first day. We also had portable raincoats in case, as had been predicted, the weather turned nasty.

Drinks
We brought a keg of orange fruit cordial, three times what would normally have lasted us a week. Unfortunately, since putting up the tents had been such hot and dusty work - and since the kids had immediately run off to the giant trampoline and come back thirsty, the cordial disappeared quite quickly with almost all of it disappearing on the first day. It wasn't until a few hours later when I noticed Kaelan and Tristan serving drinks to all the local kids that I realised where it was all going. Too late - only about a cupfull left.

Fortunately the campsite did have a bar, so we managed to scrape through on Bunderberg Rum & Coke and a few Bacardi Breezers. On the first night of camp, the weather was warm and Joanne and I stayed up to about 12-ish in our little living room. We attracted a few visitors since ours was the only completed tent with proper living quarters and we all had a good long yarn. During that night, we saw thousands of insects - particularly a few of the biggest mothers I've ever seen. Luckily they weren't bloodsuckers... the just wanted the light from our lantern.

The kids mucked up in their tent for ages and even threatening to put the lantern in their tent and turn it off (so the little suckers could suck them thin) didn't work. Eventually we had to separate Kaelan but luckily our tent had a spare room.

Bushwalking
On the next day, we went for a hike. I was prepared (since last year was so difficult) and declined a drink bottle, knowing that I'd need both hands free to climb - and very likely to carry Tristan. This worked well until we got to the top and they all had a drink. Kaelan then wanted his and the scout leader asked him why he didn't bring one. He looked directly at me and said "You should have thought of that Dad".

Anyway, we did our bushwalk and got up to the lookout where there was an amazing view. The kids wandered very very close to the edge (In the picture of Tristan above, there's less than half a meter between him and a 20 meter drop. He was even closer, and leaning outwards despite my shouts, before I managed to pull him back. Kaelan didn't get quite so close but he was still jumping from rock to rock precariously.

We did a lot on that second day, including taking the Joeys and Cubs to the pool where they had the quickest swim I've ever seen. Apparently it was cold. A couple of the Cubs noticed the irony that the sun came out as soon as we walked away from the pool. It was quite funny.

We also had a soccer game duing which Kaelan built a sandcastle in his hat while sitting just in front of the Goal posts. It was no mean feat, since those goal posts saw quite a bit of use... the Cubs thrashed the Joeys.. Partially because they were bigger kids, partially because there were seven of them and only five Joeys, partially because out of the five Joeys only three were actually playing but mostly .... mostly because the wind was so strong that if you threw the ball into the air, it would have sailed into their goalposts regardlesss of which direction you tried to throw it in.

The Second Night
The second night was our "party night" and Joanne and I gave all of the scouts little glowsticks (we'd bought a bit box of them, so there was enough to go around). The kids had great fun toasting marshmallows... well, Tristan did. Kaelan had disappeared by then - but he came back later.

The problem was that it was cold, really cold. We were sitting almost on top of the fire and were still freezing. When we went to bed, I don't think we slept much at all because it was too cold. In fact, I had jeans, two tee shirts and a sloppy joe on inside my sleeping bag and I was still freezing.

The third day of camp was rainy and I spent most of my time packing up the tent while Joanne (or ROO as her scouts called her) kept them busy with crafts.

The boys were pretty tired by the time we left and here's a picture of Tristan "crashed" in the car...

House Update
The house is now locked and we can't get in. We got stairs this week though, so here's a photo through the glass panel on the front door. Note that you can see the French doors in the formal lounge/dining room ready for installation.

A whole lot going on...

2008-11-21T08:53:00.010+11:00

An update on Kaelan's Poem at School
Apparently Kaelan's poetry reading went down ok but his teacher told him to tell his daddy that we don't use the word "bum" at school - only bottom.

I told Kaelan that if we did that it wouldn't rhyme and also that we'd be altering the person's poem. It would be no different from altering Shakespeare to remove the bit about "country manners" from Hamlet - except, of course, Shakespeare isn't alive to complain or take legal action.

The House
We visited the house recently and I went upstairs for the first time. There was only a ladder but it took a lot of persuading on my part to keep Joanne from racing up there herself (and the kids would have followed too).

I took some photos, including our first photo of the back of the house.

Our first vist only had the frames in place but on our next visit, the gyprock (walls) were up too. I was a bit surprised by how big some of the rooms actually were - though I'm sure they'll shrink once we get our furniture in them.

This is a shot standing in the kitchen and looking across to the family room (far end). In between is the informal dining room which will have three glass sliding doors which fold onto themselves - it's going to be great for getting large furniture in and out. The doors lead directly out to the backyard where there will eventually be an entertainment area and (hopefully) a pool.

Apparently next week, they're going to put the stairs in and then they're going to get the remaining external doors in place so that the house can be locked up over the Christmas holidays.

This is a shot from the front door looking towards the back. On the left is the formal lounge room and formal dining room (ie: rooms where the kids won't be allowed). The hall will have stairs in it - you can see the hole leading upwards in the center - but it's mostly blocked off for safety reasons at the moment. There will also be French Doors here to allow us to better control the climate. On the right hand side, there's the study/fifth bedroom, laundry, toilet etc.. and then towards the front, the family room.

One other funny thing about the house. The workers had a lot of left-over insulation batts which they'd been putting between the garage and the house. Joanne rang Clarendon and asked for permission to put the leftover batts in the wall between the family room and the study/downstairs bedroom.

She was given the go-ahead and told that the walls wouldn't go in until Monday. She drove past the house on Saturday morning and saw the workers doing the walls. They had simply thrown all the batts outside.

She went inside to have words with the workers but they said to her "we no speak English" which quite frankly, I'd have been tempted to say too if some angry woman started shouting at me. I'll have to remember that for next time - though I don't think it will work with Joanne.

Anyway, Joanne made them pull the sheets off the wall again then raced home to get me. We bought some protective gloves and went back to the house to find the walls back up. The workers had put the batts inside for us.

The Panda
As from last night, Panda is now offsite with her sister (Kisses). Hopefully she'll be able to make a better recovery away from the kids. Her injuries have improved significantly on the picture (see below). Hopefully the kids will have learned their lesson by the time she rejoins us (in the new house) in February 2009.

Tristan and School
Tristan has now gotten his new school uniform and bag. He's very proud of it and he's already starting school (for a settling-in period). He graduates from preschool next Thursday.

He's been wearing the uniform quite a bit, so it's not going to look quite so new when the other kids start school in February.

A Fete
We took the kids to a fete last week and they had a great time. They had a mini fire engine that drove around and the kids got a ride on it.

Also at the fete, the boys went on a Pirate ship. Tristan loved it but Kaelan started trying to sink beneath the seat. I'll post the videos of these when they're finished uploading.

Kaelan's Poetry Reading

2008-11-11T17:02:00.003+11:00

This week for news, Kaelan has to learn a poem and recite it for the class. He's not allowed to read it and he has to know who the author is. It's an assessment task too.

Well, two can play at that game...

Kaelan will only learn things if they're

Short
Rude
Exciting (have something to do with Doctor Who for instance).

I found some poems by Paul Curtis at http://www.peculiar-poetry.com/paul-curtis/short/life-poems/ and I located a suitable picture at ... http://www.cartoonstock.com/directory/b/big_bums_gifts.asp

And this is what I made for him to learn...

Will he get into trouble for presenting this at a Catholic School? I don't think so, but I'll be able to say for sure in a couple of days.

Pandamonium continued...

2008-11-11T07:19:00.001+11:00

Panda Found
Well, she was missing for half the day but Joanne thought that she heard something when she came home. The noise was coming from our neighbour's garage.

Joanne asked them if they could open their garage and Panda emerged looking more battered and bloodied than ever. She'd gone half a day without her painkillers and ended up scratching her wounds open - and deeper.

We cleaned her up but she may need to make a return trip to the vet today.

Tablets
While on the subject of Panda's painkillers, it seems appropriate to iscuss a recent incident which occurred when we first tried to get her to swallow one.

We'd already tried "just giving her one" but the tablet remained on the floor. The next step was to try to push one into her mouth but her tongue was too quick for us and every time we got the tablet in she would simply flip it out the sides.

Finally, Joanne said, "put the tablet in her mouth, hold it closed and blow on her nose". Like a fool, I believed her.

I got the tablet in and the mouth shut. I started blowing on her nose and the dog gave an almighty sneeze. I got dog-snot in my mouth. Urgh! The hypochondriac in me imagined? That I got a sore throat from that point onwards. It's probably ok but wasn't chicken snot the cause of bird flu?

I hope I haven't just gotten "dog flu".

Complete Pandamondium

2008-11-10T19:22:00.002+11:00

PART 1: A Medical Emergency for Panda
Warning: this post is a bit yucky so if you're in any way squeemish... Well, you have been warned.

Panda has been especially "clingy" of late and even more terrified of Tristan than usual. Last weekend, while I was talking to mum on the phone Panda wandered over and I was giving her a little pat. I could feel something "strange" under her fur... a sort of ring around her midsection. She wasn't too keen on being touched but I persisted.

At first I thought that something had been glued to her using that sticky yellow glue but I quickly discovered that it wasn't.

It turned out to be an elastic band around her midsection. It had obviously been there quite a while because it had cut in on the sides to a depth of about 3mm.

We rushed her to the vet who removed the object and she seems to be recovering well though I wouldn't be surprised if there's a permanent scar.

She's now having medicated baths every night and when she's properly recovered she'll be going offsite to stay with "grandma and grandad" until we get into our new place.

Of course neither boy owned up to the deed but Kaelan's shock and grief gets him off the hook while the fact that Joanne had previously told Tristan off for trying to put one over Panda's head pretty much seals the case.

Needless to say, Panda is now very much under "special protection". We even were letting her stay in the house until she started retching (after-effects of licking her medicated fur).

PART 2: Update
I got home today to find... no Panda. Apparently she has been missing since Joanne went to pick Kaelan up from School. We're hoping that it's just some freakish do-gooder out to muck around with our "property" again but in case it isn't, we've got our fingers crossed for Panda.

I've looked in all the usual places where Tristan locks her, the shower, cupboards etc and I've checked the vicious baby-eating dogs who've moved in next door. There's no blood or fur around, so I'm guessing she hasn't gone that way.

A Very Very Busy Weekend

2008-10-27T17:22:00.005+11:00

Last weekend was a seriously busy one.

Joanne had to go and do the final course of her "Scoutwomanship". I don't know what that makes her exactly but she left on Friday Afternoon and was away until Sunday Afternoon. I had the kids all to myself and was expected to somehow keep them entertained.

Saturday
On Saturday, I spent the first few hours cleaning the house and from then on, I was like a nesting magpie. Whenever the kids tried to drop junk anywhere on my clean floors, I squarked until they picked it up.

The kids didn't help but at least they stayed outside and out of the way - perfecting their trampoline trick (see video).

We then had our weekly trip to the video store where I picked up the last two Star Trek : Next Generation DVDs. It's funny to think that until about six months ago, I'd never watched an entire episode and now, I've watched an entire 7 years worth.

After that we had lunch at the best cake shop around. It's at Winston Hills and the cakes are just perfect. Deadly, but perfect.

After that we went down to the park where the kids found a massive lizard. Kaelan took his first photos with the digital camera. Here's one that he took of me and Tristan.

Fishies
Then we went home and tried to find the kids swimming costumes - it was a hot day. I couldn't find any of Tristan's swimwear, so I told the boys that we couldn't go swimming - but we took the stuff anyway.

We went to the shops and got Kaelan's glasses fixed - he'd done a pretty terrible number on them. I also bought Tristan some new swimmers. We headed off to the pool and spent the rest of the afternoon there.

When I got home, I said, well, we swam like a fish, now we're going to eat a fish. I gave them salmon on "squishy" bread for dinner. They loved it and asked for more. Then I gave them "fishy" ice cream. It has little chocolate fish in it.

Termination
After dinner, we watched Terminator 2 (having watched T1 the night before - since Kaelan is going through a bit of a Terminator phase).

The boys weren't too keen on going to bed but I got them there without a fight. I told Tristan I'd be in to tuck him in as soon as I'd tucked Kaelan in - but when I got there, he was already asleep.

Sunday
On Sunday morning, I entertained the kids for a little while by letting them play on YouTube. I showed Kaelan the "hasta la vista, baby Jesus" clip and he thought it was hilarious. It is... (see link below if you want).

After that, we went out to the St. Paul the Apostle Fete. It was good fun. Then we drove a long way out west to an automatic car wash and I drove the car through their "superwash" twice. It came out clean in parts but it still has a lot of dirt stuck to it - mixed with sap from the jacaranda tree I park it under.

Then we went to Crestwood park - the kids went lizard hunting. Not hurting - just looking at them.

Then we had a look at the house with some of the scaffolding removed.

The kids were pretty tired by the time Joanne got home and so was I.

2008-10-24T07:55:00.005+11:00

House Update
Not much seems to have happened since last week but it's been raining quite a bit. Still, they've got the little roof decoration donut thingys on.

Scouts Update
Joanne is now pretty much a scoutmaster - she's completed most of her training and they've offered her the next level up - so she's doing that this weekend. If nothing else, then it's at least a good break away from our kids. The Joeys had a Halloween party last week - despite it being a few weeks early and in the wrong country. The kids definitely had a good time though.

That's Kaelan down the front left - in the Ghost dressing gown. Tristan is up the back next to the scream ghost and dressed as the scariest monster of all... himself. (just kidding twistie).

Tristan at School
After spending some time last week looking for alternative schools we've finally settled on - the same one that Kaelan goes to... yep... that's right - we're not going to change now.

Joanne keeps telling me that it's all about the amount of additional support available - actually less than the Catholic schools despite all the rumours to the contrary. Personally I think it's more to do with the fact that I finally agreed with her and said, "Sure, ok, we can take them out and send them to a different school".

Anyway, yesterday, Tristan had his Orientation half-day at school and he apparently did very well. I think he's quite excited about going to big school soon.